Dreams

It's hard to remember my 1st dream.  Oh, yes, I thought my old choir director, Mrs. Campo, was murdered.  It was my fault, somehow, I guess because I'm indian.  So, I found her, and she was carrying me quite a lot with my hurt ankle.  It was interesting how I connected.  Before, Ellen DeGeneres was carrying me with my hurt ankle and I was thinking about being rubbed.  There was another dream where I was trying to **********.  My dad's youngest sister and little girl cousin, the aunt told me to be more comfortable in the bathroom.  When I went in the bathtub, I looked from behind the curtains and the light was on and she had come in then left.  The next dream, I was on a long long walking bridge, strong, like a dream.  I remember there were 3 boys, 1 maybe his name started with a Z.  1 was Tim Burton's son.  I talked to him, and he was really nice and cute.  He was small with dark hair.  I was with several adults.  I know Helena Bonham Carter was there, and she was taller than me by several inches and more rotund and healthy.  I got up thinking I wanted to put how her round, chubby daughter squaked as she picked her up.  After awhile, I said she was the most European person here and went up to her and maybe or probably started to put my arm around her.  I guess she was putting her arm around me and stuff for a long time, with my hurt ankle, which isn't really hurt now, and in different ways.  For some reason, I was thinking of old movies like Singing in the Rain or An American in Paris, which I thought of seeing Mary Poppins yesterday.  Eventually, she picked me up because of my ankle, for a long time.  I made a strong connection with her dad being all English and then with the rest of her race being Spanish and Jewish.  I'm not sure what was most memorable.  I guess my hurt ankle and seeing her as most European.  I did see maybe an all English blonde with slick hair, and I guess for some reason it didn't matter to me.  ***  So, I guess you can imagine how it was.  I don't remember all the details.  I guess I felt kinda knocked out a bit but nothing really bad, like I went in and wasn't afraid to process things.  Before, I think I felt a bit worn and unable to experience.  This time, I was kinda not fully developed, still.  When I was looking to see if she was murdered, it was very depressing and something I had to accept.  I was worried that it had to do with me not stopping it and causing it.  It was sorta a dark, trashy, more sharp slum area, more orangey and like with slits of other things.  The bridge was big, like an old dream, and weighted down, quite a lot, though it didn't seem to affect me as much as it could, like I was dead in a way partly.  It was a thick bridge.  We were sitting on the side.  There were like maybe 3 wires and a window with cement on the outside.  It was very strong, like a building or street, very thick, seemed so stable but uh-oh not really invincible.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was wearing a dress, which was maybe was like brownish with certain colors like orange or blue or green.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was saying "David" because her dad is all English a few times.  Also, I went in the bathroom to lock the door.  I can't even close my garage door because of a chord in the way.  I guess with the choir director we were down in a low area that was kinda yellowy-orangey-maybe gray.  I had told someone about a Cathedral that seemed good but not the best, you know 1 of 3.

Problems

So, Helena Bonham Carter is a big complainer and thinks other people who complain should be hurt.

So, I need help.  At CVS, a black lady sorta was rumbling through some things and made my left boy sack feel for once like sorta pieced apart with an outline.  She acted like she could hurt me but no one else, like other people just keep going to cover, like they're hurting themselves for being mean but trying hard.  I don't believe in this.

Also, there's this boy at Orlando Ballet who looks kinda like how I pictured my son, but I am not sure if I'd really want my son to only be like that.  He was really short and seemed like a pimple but was really cute with golden brown fluffy straight smooth hair, you know, looked English.  He had the ballet so down and had so many parts, A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Being Perfect

So, anything a Late Boom girl says is right.

What do you think of this girl who is probably all English: link.  It seems like it's best not to mix with other Europeans.  I know Órla Fallon's last name was Carron and is French from Normandy not the Anglo-Normans, which seem to be what pervade Ireland, though no one talks about it.  The Anglo-Normans are Norwegian and maybe other Nordic countries.  I know in the U.S., I met a French blonde married to someone with a German last name.  She was so smart but didn't seem to think so.  I had a drama teacher from New Orleans with a French last name.  My 1st drama teacher I found is from where Ellen DeGeneres is from.  I met 2 other people from New Orleans who might have some very white ancestry who I liked, though 1 is gay and looks sick now.

I'm curious, so Tim Burton made England popular, but Helena Bonham Carter seems to admit she grew up with her mom, whose mom is Jewish and whose dad is Spanish and Jewish.  It's just people who have all 1 European ethnicity have so much to offer.  You know Kate Bush?  She's ½ English ½ Irish.  She had really nice parents.  She seemed more interested in modern culture and could fit in in England but isn't like a hose of bossiness.  She isn't the same, now.  She got really big, and people would think "that's something Christina likes."

Well, Ellen DeGeneres's mom's last name is Jewish, so maybe Tim Burton wants his kids Jewish.  Maybe, he uses them as a tool.  Hey, aren't I used as a tool to not look that good because my dad is old and my mom isn't technically just "white?"  People think all my accomplishments are just me being spoiled.  Did you know I grew up thinking the opposite, like that I did things I was supposed to and everyone else came from lazy, racist families?

Problem

Tim Burton, you can't rub in to the world that Helena Bonham Carter is pretty and my mom is ugly.  Why don't you like leave me alone in that light?

Also, why do you think the world stops because of you?

Why are you so like backing away like every little thing will hurt you?

I thought you stood for something.  You didn't do shit.

Problem

I don't think my mom wants to be in glasses at her age.  I'm not sure what her problem is with Tim Burton.  Helena Bonham Carter has money so probably doesn't need them..  It was something to do I know with that he apparently did art and wanted to say that like everyone else has to do something that's like worse than him and then he depended on his swimming maybe to give him the artistic stamina.  Hm, I did that with singing in college, I know, and probably it enhanced my art.  I did gymnastics hand in hand as a kid.  I got glasses at 9, and I blame the kids at school.  Also, I suddenly had lots to copy from the board that year, so I blame that, too.  Too bad that was so far my favorite teacher.

Got Mad

So, I was thinking wow like meeting Tim Burton it's like over for my mom.  I finally reach some way I wish I was but not exactly, like I was going through a change, filling out a different extreme.  I just wanted the European features in my background.  No one encouraged this.  So, I lost my personality at 11, maybe by earlier 1998.  I typed 2008, at 1st.  It's funny that's when computers came out.  I think it was also when I found I was moving to the New Orleans area.  That's kinda sick, supposedly someone gave me my personality.  Apparently, I just took from what others liked to do around me.  I mean, I found that quitting gymnastics I was able to be less like unfeeling-looking, though I'm sure the gymnastics is what gave me my strength.  I guess my mom seems to want me to not be attractive so I'll be accepted as modest, but no one believes that, at all, and even seem to expect more effort from me.  Also, my dad seems to have used to say he denied he'd hurt me for it, but I find this fact to be untrue.  They're lying to me and making me believe weird things, like my life became an experiment and that's actually why we moved or maybe why the whole bank of Florida closed.  If that's why, I mean what does that mean, so what?  Also, my brother wasn't as cool and my parents were like no comment.  For some reason, people started to make fun of him.  I know he took a picture of me where only like some more than ½ of me was showing.  I mean, I guess that's okay, but then he acted like he was sad for me that we weren't moving to the city.  I think my parents were just overbearing of that, like I was bad to want to have fun, like I had an attitude that would affect others.  Also, you're not supposed to make me uncomfortable with my dad because your dad ... "happens to be" Tim Burton.  OH MY GOD!  ^0^  Can you believe that?  And, tell me, who's your mom, your supposed blood mom???

Liking Good Quality

So, Tim Burton likes my mom and someone shitty like Helena Bonham Carter.  Oh, she used to be bad and now is pretending to discipline others.  I got along with her, but I'm getting bad messages.  I just said shitty because it's cute and I'm not an Italian nigger.  HA!  What else?  So, yea, he doesn't mind Jewish shit and wants the attractive Asians.  Germans care about Asian shit.

Other People..

So, Helena Bonham Carter wants other Asians to have Indonesian heritage and not me.

Your Own Cultures

What do you think of people following your culture in a mean way.  That's what Tim Burton, Ellen DeGeneres, and Nell Burton do.

How can you deny that Tim Burton has become mean and is simply racist and supposedly shit otherwise and just spoils Generation YZ?  HEY THAT'S LIKE WORSE THAN LIKE HELL.  What happened to "the late 1990s, too?"

Psychiatric Understanding..

Why is Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter preaching me bullshit of stuff I already know better than them?  They don't even follow the rules of not hurting others psychiatrically.  They don't even give a bullcrap.

Dad's Heritage

Why should a dad be able to say his kids deserve to be hurt?  Like, he wants like the race of the mom, and he thinks there's logic that sparks that the kids don't deserve it.  Ideas come up that that's what they deserve, that they don't deserve it.  Like, maybe they just keep thinking in 1 path, like Americans.  It's funny people from the South think they're more European and think they can not think in a straight line.  That straight line is something incorrect.  Europeans tend to do things the right, probably "original" way, whatever that means.  Like, maybe Americans became bad?  Maybe, Americans are poor, and Australians are criminals because criminals are rampant in Australia from, I know, England.  They were shipped there.  It's what they said in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007) by Tim Burton and with starring Johnny Depp alongside Tim Burton's "wife" and involving other cast from Harry Potter.