Dreams

It's hard to remember my 1st dream.  Oh, yes, I thought my old choir director, Mrs. Campo, was murdered.  It was my fault, somehow, I guess because I'm indian.  So, I found her, and she was carrying me quite a lot with my hurt ankle.  It was interesting how I connected.  Before, Ellen DeGeneres was carrying me with my hurt ankle and I was thinking about being rubbed.  There was another dream where I was trying to **********.  My dad's youngest sister and little girl cousin, the aunt told me to be more comfortable in the bathroom.  When I went in the bathtub, I looked from behind the curtains and the light was on and she had come in then left.  The next dream, I was on a long long walking bridge, strong, like a dream.  I remember there were 3 boys, 1 maybe his name started with a Z.  1 was Tim Burton's son.  I talked to him, and he was really nice and cute.  He was small with dark hair.  I was with several adults.  I know Helena Bonham Carter was there, and she was taller than me by several inches and more rotund and healthy.  I got up thinking I wanted to put how her round, chubby daughter squaked as she picked her up.  After awhile, I said she was the most European person here and went up to her and maybe or probably started to put my arm around her.  I guess she was putting her arm around me and stuff for a long time, with my hurt ankle, which isn't really hurt now, and in different ways.  For some reason, I was thinking of old movies like Singing in the Rain or An American in Paris, which I thought of seeing Mary Poppins yesterday.  Eventually, she picked me up because of my ankle, for a long time.  I made a strong connection with her dad being all English and then with the rest of her race being Spanish and Jewish.  I'm not sure what was most memorable.  I guess my hurt ankle and seeing her as most European.  I did see maybe an all English blonde with slick hair, and I guess for some reason it didn't matter to me.  ***  So, I guess you can imagine how it was.  I don't remember all the details.  I guess I felt kinda knocked out a bit but nothing really bad, like I went in and wasn't afraid to process things.  Before, I think I felt a bit worn and unable to experience.  This time, I was kinda not fully developed, still.  When I was looking to see if she was murdered, it was very depressing and something I had to accept.  I was worried that it had to do with me not stopping it and causing it.  It was sorta a dark, trashy, more sharp slum area, more orangey and like with slits of other things.  The bridge was big, like an old dream, and weighted down, quite a lot, though it didn't seem to affect me as much as it could, like I was dead in a way partly.  It was a thick bridge.  We were sitting on the side.  There were like maybe 3 wires and a window with cement on the outside.  It was very strong, like a building or street, very thick, seemed so stable but uh-oh not really invincible.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was wearing a dress, which was maybe was like brownish with certain colors like orange or blue or green.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was saying "David" because her dad is all English a few times.  Also, I went in the bathroom to lock the door.  I can't even close my garage door because of a chord in the way.  I guess with the choir director we were down in a low area that was kinda yellowy-orangey-maybe gray.  I had told someone about a Cathedral that seemed good but not the best, you know 1 of 3.

The Facts of Race

If Tim Burton is "on" race, he should be able to deal with it.  I guess it is a "nightmare," but I mean I guess he is onto something.  He isn't interested in the facts.

Problem

Why do people like Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton give a fuck over kids with really old parents who are younger than you?  Ha.  WTF you think you got?

Problem

So, what do you think about the turnout of things with Tim Burton?  Why am I cursing about racism?

Food

So, for lunch, I have stuff like fish, thick red sausage if my dad got it, lettuce and cucumbers, tangerines, and I don't remember what else.  I guess I was depending on the fish.

My wounds are healing quickly.

Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton should learn to relax.  I'm gonna take a bath, soon.  I wanna make a new blog.  3)

Help!

I was thinking of how annoyingly racist and stuck up Nell Burton is and felt that I might be my dad and thought of c**ting people's faces.  I keep thinking of that but got over it again.  Why is this happening like this?  Maybe, I'll go ahead and c** your face for you.  EMO BURTON FAN

Upset

I got really mad.  The refrigerator drawers are both broken now.

I thought Ellen DeGeneres, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton thought they had more heritage from the South than me.

So, they want to just state that as a fact and like try to embarrass me if they run into me.  Hm, I know about people with parents from other places, but I don't like my parents in that way.

Problem

WHY DID TIM BURTON STOP BEING NICE AND MY DAD START ********* ME

*BEEP*

Rushing Pain

Tim Burton rushes through things and causes pain.

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Being Perfect

So, anything a Late Boom girl says is right.

What do you think of this girl who is probably all English: link.  It seems like it's best not to mix with other Europeans.  I know Órla Fallon's last name was Carron and is French from Normandy not the Anglo-Normans, which seem to be what pervade Ireland, though no one talks about it.  The Anglo-Normans are Norwegian and maybe other Nordic countries.  I know in the U.S., I met a French blonde married to someone with a German last name.  She was so smart but didn't seem to think so.  I had a drama teacher from New Orleans with a French last name.  My 1st drama teacher I found is from where Ellen DeGeneres is from.  I met 2 other people from New Orleans who might have some very white ancestry who I liked, though 1 is gay and looks sick now.

I'm curious, so Tim Burton made England popular, but Helena Bonham Carter seems to admit she grew up with her mom, whose mom is Jewish and whose dad is Spanish and Jewish.  It's just people who have all 1 European ethnicity have so much to offer.  You know Kate Bush?  She's ½ English ½ Irish.  She had really nice parents.  She seemed more interested in modern culture and could fit in in England but isn't like a hose of bossiness.  She isn't the same, now.  She got really big, and people would think "that's something Christina likes."

Well, Ellen DeGeneres's mom's last name is Jewish, so maybe Tim Burton wants his kids Jewish.  Maybe, he uses them as a tool.  Hey, aren't I used as a tool to not look that good because my dad is old and my mom isn't technically just "white?"  People think all my accomplishments are just me being spoiled.  Did you know I grew up thinking the opposite, like that I did things I was supposed to and everyone else came from lazy, racist families?

Problem

Why does Tim Burton want us to like spill the beans, like sorta maybe we go online but we don't really have to under his command, though he didn't say to.  I mean, there's a funny feeling, maybe you shouldn't be near the internet.  I think everyone should know it's safe and right to get a blog.  I mean, it was like it was 2005 and then suddenly in 2006 where I was everything was different.  The world seems different.  That makes me wonder about what it's like in different parts of the world, didn't see as many attractive people before.  I'm seeing like thin, supple kids with white hair, now, not necessarily the silhouette of a movie star but interesting, maybe not rough and tough enough, not perverted, not to say that they should have to know about that stuff all at once but maybe is good to know in a timely manner.

Problem

Tim Burton, you can't rub in to the world that Helena Bonham Carter is pretty and my mom is ugly.  Why don't you like leave me alone in that light?

Also, why do you think the world stops because of you?

Why are you so like backing away like every little thing will hurt you?

I thought you stood for something.  You didn't do shit.

Problem

I don't think my mom wants to be in glasses at her age.  I'm not sure what her problem is with Tim Burton.  Helena Bonham Carter has money so probably doesn't need them..  It was something to do I know with that he apparently did art and wanted to say that like everyone else has to do something that's like worse than him and then he depended on his swimming maybe to give him the artistic stamina.  Hm, I did that with singing in college, I know, and probably it enhanced my art.  I did gymnastics hand in hand as a kid.  I got glasses at 9, and I blame the kids at school.  Also, I suddenly had lots to copy from the board that year, so I blame that, too.  Too bad that was so far my favorite teacher.

Problem

Why does Tim Burton protect Nell racially against Eurasians who look white?  Hm, maybe he doesn't.

Problem

Tim Burton probably would really not be serious that my mom has glasses and think she was bound to.  However, most people wouldn't agree.

I just realized that it was like my mom didn't have fun in this country, and people who read it will say I'm spewing negro.  That's what's not right.  Kids have been doing that since Johnny Depp.  I mean, she sees my dad, all the time.  The woman doesn't necessarily work.  What is it with my dad and money?  I mean, we're not the poorest.  Are we really that poor?  My dad acts like my mom doesn't provide him with food, but he also complains he's too fat and doesn't want to eat and doesn't work out on his own.  They actually rubbed in a lot that I didn't want him to.  They thought maybe I liked him to give me attention.  Why do you go off into bullshit thinking that's okay!  D:'  I MEAN OKAY THAT THEY THINK THAT!!!  WHAT ARE YOU A PIECE OF SHIT.

Old Music

So, when did like those space things come out?  I'm listening to A Clockwork Orange from 1972.

I like the 4th movement from "Pomp & Circumstance."

Now, I'm listening to Beethoven's 9th and I know everyone loves this.  I used to find it really different.  Now, it sounds kinda old and techy.

Ah, yes!!  3D  It's very marchy.  It sounds in perfect sync.  It's perfect music!  ;D

If you don't know about this movie, my dad told me about it when I was 7 or 6, I think, if not maybe even 5?  Probably 6.  It's about being tortured to music you love, like being changed.  It's supposed to be really big.  A lot of people in school started talking about it awhile after my dad told me, and it became overrated, tacky, and trashed, through the years, like everyone knew it.  Then, people talked about it like you were a nigger.

Wow, it's like a swing music.  Hm, must be modern German or classical German.  Did you know well that the Classical period ended with Beethoven, who started the Romantic period?  I know Back is Baroque and Mozart is Classical.

This is a bit different from all the modern English we've been getting. It seems different from the organ music I'm used to and like, though. I always thought it sounded retarded, like cut off, rhythmic, nice and simple to follow but well-orchestrated.

Wow, something just totally clicked. It reminds me of French, now.

Wow, I can totally elaborate on the same feeling.

I had a German foreign exchange student, and Germanic things were popular and there were foreign exchange students from that side of Europe, when I wa 16 and 17.  In college, the voice instructor was obsessed with German and lived there 20 years with her husband from Harvard, though their singing was plainstyle and annoying.  They seemed to really take to me though I'd been strict on.  I took a group voice class all year, the 2nd semester being Italian.  It was actually the official voice major class because I did Music Education, stated it upon entering.  Before wanted Composition and auditioned for Voice, too.

Also a big thing was to try to act German.  I guess in and out English has been woven in in experience, exposed, though, like I remember for instance seeing this attractive English girl at New Year's with a thick, sleek frame, not too tall, bleached smooth hair.  I saw a girl or more like this on TV lead people through a house, too.  I've seen other English people, like on Science videos and when my brother watches TV, people not that healthy.  Tim Burton and Johnny Depp lead the whole English French thing.  It seems Tim Burton can understand French.  Tim Burton did English.  All hail, Tim Burton!  3D

I know a lot of people were anti-English anti-everything German, but I was accepted as perfect for all cultures.  It's just something you can try to do.  I guess I was lacking some meat.

Hm, this music isn't too long in the main exciting part.  So, I'm not rocking through it all this time.  It's kinda in the background.

Something Weird

Do you know know about people who fall asleep in logic, like say someone would say oh I think you did something for me but you're just worse than a piece of dirt trash, worse than nothing, because of your race, but some people like they are aware that they don't like their race, you know, what can you do, just stick your head in a hole of vacuum?

I do find it weird when some people think they are like more like Tim Burton than me.  I guess I don't really find it funny to be interested in Tim Burton.

Problem

Also, trying to help me from complaining at home is not gonna help because I don't think I complained a much as the year got on and I started ballet.  It seems like I may have complained until I went to a public high school.  So, I went all these years with nothing and now I try to do something and I get sorta this fartsy attitude from people like Tim Burton I feel, when I'm so nice and perfect, he like digs into your past like you're a wart.

Bothered

I was bothered and crossed the road with a car on a green light.

I realized people are unaccepting about new people online because other people will dis the internet.

Also, why does Tim Burton think you need to know everything, in advance?

Why am I getting annoying messages from people I know when I make a statement or figure something out?

Why is Tim Burton being mean subconsciously the reason for every conversation?

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Animalistic Humans

Why is it only people from Florida are human and people in Europe are like supple humans?  I feel that others are barking animals reacting to feelings of psychiatric jealousy.  L.A. just has the modern support, Hollywood, but lots of people live there.  Florida I guess is more home to Floridians, too, but not just mainly the Spanish.  I don't know many people probably because of my parents.  Also, we moved.

I mean, someone just sees a point and pretends you're in trouble and keeps finding out they're wrong and just racist.  I am not more mean that Tim Burton, and an orchestra will bow over and their hat will fall off for him.  Someone like Ellen DeGeneres would think well I'm not white, so what?  Well, um, it's like being Middle Eastern.  The Chinese are considered whiter than like some other culture to them and just need to act European and they are accepted.  Everyone knows that.  I think they just get that feel, and now I remember I think something like that has been talked about.