I got threatened to associate something bad with something really, really important. How can you just say that you're a genius to think of it? I don't think I deserve it and don't believe that certain actions mean that I deserve it, like because I was supposedly incompetent. You don't even know. I didn't ask you to talk to me. Why is it so important to be careful around people, usually, then?
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Problem
I watched my old videos after the mental hospital a month and am guessing I am infested and unsure of what to do. Maybe, I was infested in college.
Problem
So, I had fun getting food at the gas stations, but I have a feeling they were dirty places. Maybe, I shouldn't get sandwiches there. The dessert isn't that good. The restaurants close at night, but they have the drive throughs opened. I couldn't get them to notice me.
Problem
So, I woke up, and something different happened because these people are watching me for no reason in this experiment and want to get it out, but I don't want to talk in this. I keep getting annoying sounds, all day. My life is abnormal. They're suggesting things that are kinda things you traditionally wouldn't suggest.
Hm, the top and back of my head kinda felt like a bunch of bumps like in that dream, I mean my brain. What do you suppose is going on? Is it because of this experiment? Isn't that also the reason I ended up getting mad? I think this is bad and unnecessary, guarding against all these things like we have to address bad things all day. I'm not doing it.
I just went to think of my 2nd dream, and it's just brushed aside that an insulting tick happened. Stop saying "I'm a 'bad' person." Stop picking at me for getting mad at being hurt! I don't want to be tapped into in private all day and certainly not in this way, which is bad..
Also, I got randomly annoyed in private just because I said something, then I just heard it was because I was Chinese, but I don't want to be Chinese and don't feel Chinese. Please go away. I was enjoying like the pristine aura of how I looked today with my lush curls. Let me guess, you're drugged and too shy to comment. Before, me being watched in private was like a gift, and now it's constant torture and the insistence that I "need" it.
Hm, the top and back of my head kinda felt like a bunch of bumps like in that dream, I mean my brain. What do you suppose is going on? Is it because of this experiment? Isn't that also the reason I ended up getting mad? I think this is bad and unnecessary, guarding against all these things like we have to address bad things all day. I'm not doing it.
I just went to think of my 2nd dream, and it's just brushed aside that an insulting tick happened. Stop saying "I'm a 'bad' person." Stop picking at me for getting mad at being hurt! I don't want to be tapped into in private all day and certainly not in this way, which is bad..
Also, I got randomly annoyed in private just because I said something, then I just heard it was because I was Chinese, but I don't want to be Chinese and don't feel Chinese. Please go away. I was enjoying like the pristine aura of how I looked today with my lush curls. Let me guess, you're drugged and too shy to comment. Before, me being watched in private was like a gift, and now it's constant torture and the insistence that I "need" it.
Dream
I just remember my 2nd dream now. I was walking around. There were all these gross witches with small heads and like little plaques of things, sorta like gas stations. There were buildings. Supposedly, I had a left eye missing from a witch and walked around and escaped and went into the land of knowing, as opposed to the land of being nor the land of something else. I ran across a Middle Easterner who wanted to do yoga, though it wasn't important, anymore, and she was like poor and not properly nutritioned and was on the floor looking up, a bit gross, and was kinda like saying stuff about like yoga and other stuff and then like closed her eyes. She was in a weird position. Then, I went back. Other people were there and had to get off guard. I was thoroughly disgusted as I woke up, and the head witch like made 1 other character that looked like her but was on my side have a face simply covered in little bumps even like in piles, just to get it out and exaggerate it as she got stimulated.
The 1st dream was good, hope I can think of it.
The 1st dream was good, hope I can think of it.
Dream
I was standing in line to package some things, and there were about 3 people working, 1 my old choir director and organ teacher. Someone filed to the other person knowing I wanted the teacher. At the last moment, I addressed it, which was to her, maybe did it ... well, there were like a thick sorta bunched up package, a box, and maybe a blank more medium-big thick, white, rather plain envelope. I think the tape was over the home address. So, she left, had to, something to do with dying.
Dream
At the end of my dream, I was thinking I said, "Mom," in this place, realizing where I was, like a college dorm, with Ellen DeGeneres stationed somewhere, like a police. I felt like a Venus fly trap behind my head. So, like I was on the floor, trying to sleep, found a little sleeping bag and pillow. Oh yes, I got the fly trap off. I was thinking about trusting someone to make me healthy, upset realizing for the 1st time my mom got unhealthy when I moved. Wow, my hands look dead. So, I had been there. It started I went there with 1 of 2 art teachers. I went in a room, and she was outside. It was bright and big, like a machine kind of place, kinda Disney-ish or toon-ish. Something happened, there were monsters and she was being like killed but I guess was maybe a like ghost but in physical form. I had to keep the lock turned a few times for a long time, maybe over a period of even nearly 5 minutes. I guess then a knife formulated through. I thought of someone hiding in a closet and thought of a happy little monster like that new caveman movie thinking of the story. So, the bad guy didn't get the person out of the closet. Then, I was in this big room with the other kids. We saw a young version of Johnny Depp with little legs performing maybe on a guitar. He was sitting in the room in the stands, but we were all looking at the display. We might have interacted with it going to another thing, sitting on something metallic. Then, I guess was kinda a long scene on the floor with us getting sleeping bags. For some reason, it seemed dangerous. It was like we could die, but we were there, like the 1 art teacher. Oh yes, I was in a room and remember a fat fat lady with curly hair, kinda sweet. She said she had Moore as a last name, and so did I, but I don't. She went off down a hall. There was a part I went to a bathroom that was yellowish, and I went into a stall and there was a toilet and then there were other little stalls and went in and it was pretty clean.
So, the interesting part was that like I guess it's funny Ellen DeGeneres was there. It was like about if we were in a college dorm or at home and were getting in trouble for what it was maybe or I woke up thinking that. I wasn't even in college, but I was thinking about it. So, maybe you get the picture. It's interesting, not sure I ever thought so much of Dad to Tim Burton, but I certainly equated him with that certification. People have made me feel special. I probably have had passing feelings like that in my life.
So, it was like a crabby sorta ghostlike force was attacking my head and about to kill me. So, I pried it off, and I guess it was disapparating. I was surrounded by like weight, though. I forget what I was doing. Maybe, it'll come to me. I think it was like I was the best girl there or something, like I was behaving and played all these cards right.
Also, I was in the car with my dad and I guess there was like a pillow between us that was kinda like filling out the space. My dad acted like he did something, and I kicked a bit sorta mechanically, which I've never done, and he looked hurt. He passed me in the hallway, and I got kinda frantic and closed the bathroom door quickly, worried but knowing it wasn't my fault. I thought it didn't hurt him.
So, it was nice to like, I guess, care about things, like that. I think because it was so like deathly dangerous is why I thought of the word, "Mom." I was with other girls maybe younger. Not sure what ... guess they were all grovelling.
I guess that makes sense, ... I know I had filed in with a girl. I guess I was feeling bad from the pizza. I'm not sure who was in charge of this other room. I think a lady, maybe a bigger lady, like the other art teacher.
So, the interesting part was that like I guess it's funny Ellen DeGeneres was there. It was like about if we were in a college dorm or at home and were getting in trouble for what it was maybe or I woke up thinking that. I wasn't even in college, but I was thinking about it. So, maybe you get the picture. It's interesting, not sure I ever thought so much of Dad to Tim Burton, but I certainly equated him with that certification. People have made me feel special. I probably have had passing feelings like that in my life.
So, it was like a crabby sorta ghostlike force was attacking my head and about to kill me. So, I pried it off, and I guess it was disapparating. I was surrounded by like weight, though. I forget what I was doing. Maybe, it'll come to me. I think it was like I was the best girl there or something, like I was behaving and played all these cards right.
Also, I was in the car with my dad and I guess there was like a pillow between us that was kinda like filling out the space. My dad acted like he did something, and I kicked a bit sorta mechanically, which I've never done, and he looked hurt. He passed me in the hallway, and I got kinda frantic and closed the bathroom door quickly, worried but knowing it wasn't my fault. I thought it didn't hurt him.
So, it was nice to like, I guess, care about things, like that. I think because it was so like deathly dangerous is why I thought of the word, "Mom." I was with other girls maybe younger. Not sure what ... guess they were all grovelling.
I guess that makes sense, ... I know I had filed in with a girl. I guess I was feeling bad from the pizza. I'm not sure who was in charge of this other room. I think a lady, maybe a bigger lady, like the other art teacher.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Problem
So, when I was 1 I think I felt fat. I was a good girl. I just was shy and people found that annoying, which was mean and showed they were wrong. There was nothing I could say because they didn't connect with me as being more white than they thought because my ancestry dating back years ago...
Then, when I was 2, for some reason, I was kinda dark and fatter, still. I had started gymnastics, already, though, so I dunno. I don't know what I looked like in between. I don't remember. I think I felt like crap. I probably went haywire like an Asian American. Ha ha ha...
So, then the gymnastics made me strong and people "liked" me..
My brother was born when I was 5. I was still in gymnastics. I looked fatter I know when my hair was cut, which maybe it was cut before. I started ballet, and my head got big. By the way, I could never remember any of it. I moved and didn't like the easy school. So, I looked okay for awhile. I think my cousin, who would only have been 1, wrote to me and I forgot to write back and I think that made me not get a blog when the internet came out. I felt like knocked out, maybe by my mom, not to write back, and my dad didn't intercede. So, he can't get mad. That's true. So, I know I looked pretty when I was 7 and did baton at Christmas. However, I don't think I have the picture but may though my mom didn't develop any of the pictures I asked her to develop! So, then, I was baton leader of little kids mostly and I started to look kinda old. I did more gymnastics and quit ballet, and then I looked worse. I guess I looked better at some point in the easy ballet school, or a bit after. It was probably 1 of the best Christmas experiences, when I was 7.
So, then, I was 9, and I grew my bangs out. My hair got thicker, somehow. We lived by the water, directly on it this time. It was also a preserved city, the nation's oldest.
I got fatter when I was 12 when I found I was moving. I'm not sure who caused it. I think it was my piano teacher. I'm not sure, she must have been suggestive at weird things that happened, really bad. I just really suspect her. My mom had us not walk as much, though we walked to my piano recital, I think.
I started ballet and stayed in it so I wouldn't get scoliosis again. I also was in martial arts, which seemed to help my weight a lot, just once a week, with grappling. I also did tennis lessons with my brother and at 1st my mom, too, used to do it with a friend, too.
So, I switched ballet schools and for some reason got more plump, also trying to become cuter. My friend encouraged me. It did teach me more classical, puppety ballet, but not like classical puppets..
16, I had a hard lecture reading history course in gifted because it was combined with advanced placement, which is for the advanced placement test for college credit, which isn't actually that popular. I went to the mental hospital and gained weight even before. I was losing weight a lot and was not bony but thin.
17 I moved schools and was really busy and got into music college.
I was kicked out of my major, probably for staying up until 5, and my grades were marked down. So, I couldn't move schools and was at a prestigious college on a high scholarship for a specific study. It also had ballet that performs, which I didn't perform my 1st year, for some reason. Then, I went up north and something happened to my back and I started eating sweets. I came home and my parents didn't let me eat baby food and formula because it had cost a lot. I got fat. So, I went and did ballet and didn't go to the gym and because of that I got even fatter, unless I didn't know it was because I got fat when I came home. That kind of thing has happened before. Also, the construction made it so I couldn't study, and there was no material the same on the test as in the reading, anyway. Next semester, I heard noises in my ear that made me want to commit suicide. I was crawling to get back in my major, and the stuck up people in New Orleans still were being racist because of Johnny Depp and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It so happens the history course was during Pirates of the Caribbean. I didn't see the ads at the movies I went to, which were the popular 1s.
So, I came home and I was so tired going out and had to stop going out and had some problems with my head from how my dad drove, though I think buses and taxis would drive like that and I wanted to be a movie actor or like you know do whatever I was supposed to otherwise to start to become 1 in the business. Like I wanted to work at a restaurant in L.A. but assume that's overrated. Anyway, it was really mean how my dad drove. It might have helped, like injuries can help. I know music and coming home and relaxing for once in my life made me sensitive to noise. I did ballet for awhile. I got thinner, but I wanted to get taller and I guess it was fun not to do it and it wasn't a great school, though it provided a sweat. I forget what else I was gonna say, oh, yea, I wanted to sleep in. So, we moved to a house since there was noise all the time more and more, like every 15 seconds, even a lot at night, if not that much. I didn't think to wear earplugs but had a fan. I stayed in my room a lot and ate what my parents got, but I didn't even go outside until my mom presented me with keys, guess it might have been too late. Then, I went to the mental hospital, supposedly for punching my wall, going to a spa and trying to get blackheads out which ruined plugs that were happening in my forehead and then I thought in an experiment I was supposed to call a girl toddler the n word, also thought the spa lady hypnotized me to do it for not talking more about the internet. I was telling her how I got blackheads. I was on a lot of medicine for a long time and finally found a reason to quit. It made me even fatter and weaker and kinda like nothing mattered, ever since the n word thing, when Tim Burton stopped pretending to post online to me. Since then, a few complications have occurred.
So what I have to say about that is it would just be when I was 8 when I didn't write my cousin that I looked ugly and when I was 5 and started ballet. It was because I did gymnastics, too, not sure "what" happened to the other girls. I mean, it was like I knew what was wrong. I didn't cheat and say oh I did nothing all my life so am free for ballet, you know? Like not doing gymnastics is what makes you good at ballet.
I went to the mental hospital when I was 16 with that hard history course, too. I was fat after that, affected from it. Only a week. Here I went a month.
Then, when I was 2, for some reason, I was kinda dark and fatter, still. I had started gymnastics, already, though, so I dunno. I don't know what I looked like in between. I don't remember. I think I felt like crap. I probably went haywire like an Asian American. Ha ha ha...
So, then the gymnastics made me strong and people "liked" me..
My brother was born when I was 5. I was still in gymnastics. I looked fatter I know when my hair was cut, which maybe it was cut before. I started ballet, and my head got big. By the way, I could never remember any of it. I moved and didn't like the easy school. So, I looked okay for awhile. I think my cousin, who would only have been 1, wrote to me and I forgot to write back and I think that made me not get a blog when the internet came out. I felt like knocked out, maybe by my mom, not to write back, and my dad didn't intercede. So, he can't get mad. That's true. So, I know I looked pretty when I was 7 and did baton at Christmas. However, I don't think I have the picture but may though my mom didn't develop any of the pictures I asked her to develop! So, then, I was baton leader of little kids mostly and I started to look kinda old. I did more gymnastics and quit ballet, and then I looked worse. I guess I looked better at some point in the easy ballet school, or a bit after. It was probably 1 of the best Christmas experiences, when I was 7.
So, then, I was 9, and I grew my bangs out. My hair got thicker, somehow. We lived by the water, directly on it this time. It was also a preserved city, the nation's oldest.
I got fatter when I was 12 when I found I was moving. I'm not sure who caused it. I think it was my piano teacher. I'm not sure, she must have been suggestive at weird things that happened, really bad. I just really suspect her. My mom had us not walk as much, though we walked to my piano recital, I think.
I started ballet and stayed in it so I wouldn't get scoliosis again. I also was in martial arts, which seemed to help my weight a lot, just once a week, with grappling. I also did tennis lessons with my brother and at 1st my mom, too, used to do it with a friend, too.
So, I switched ballet schools and for some reason got more plump, also trying to become cuter. My friend encouraged me. It did teach me more classical, puppety ballet, but not like classical puppets..
16, I had a hard lecture reading history course in gifted because it was combined with advanced placement, which is for the advanced placement test for college credit, which isn't actually that popular. I went to the mental hospital and gained weight even before. I was losing weight a lot and was not bony but thin.
17 I moved schools and was really busy and got into music college.
I was kicked out of my major, probably for staying up until 5, and my grades were marked down. So, I couldn't move schools and was at a prestigious college on a high scholarship for a specific study. It also had ballet that performs, which I didn't perform my 1st year, for some reason. Then, I went up north and something happened to my back and I started eating sweets. I came home and my parents didn't let me eat baby food and formula because it had cost a lot. I got fat. So, I went and did ballet and didn't go to the gym and because of that I got even fatter, unless I didn't know it was because I got fat when I came home. That kind of thing has happened before. Also, the construction made it so I couldn't study, and there was no material the same on the test as in the reading, anyway. Next semester, I heard noises in my ear that made me want to commit suicide. I was crawling to get back in my major, and the stuck up people in New Orleans still were being racist because of Johnny Depp and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It so happens the history course was during Pirates of the Caribbean. I didn't see the ads at the movies I went to, which were the popular 1s.
So, I came home and I was so tired going out and had to stop going out and had some problems with my head from how my dad drove, though I think buses and taxis would drive like that and I wanted to be a movie actor or like you know do whatever I was supposed to otherwise to start to become 1 in the business. Like I wanted to work at a restaurant in L.A. but assume that's overrated. Anyway, it was really mean how my dad drove. It might have helped, like injuries can help. I know music and coming home and relaxing for once in my life made me sensitive to noise. I did ballet for awhile. I got thinner, but I wanted to get taller and I guess it was fun not to do it and it wasn't a great school, though it provided a sweat. I forget what else I was gonna say, oh, yea, I wanted to sleep in. So, we moved to a house since there was noise all the time more and more, like every 15 seconds, even a lot at night, if not that much. I didn't think to wear earplugs but had a fan. I stayed in my room a lot and ate what my parents got, but I didn't even go outside until my mom presented me with keys, guess it might have been too late. Then, I went to the mental hospital, supposedly for punching my wall, going to a spa and trying to get blackheads out which ruined plugs that were happening in my forehead and then I thought in an experiment I was supposed to call a girl toddler the n word, also thought the spa lady hypnotized me to do it for not talking more about the internet. I was telling her how I got blackheads. I was on a lot of medicine for a long time and finally found a reason to quit. It made me even fatter and weaker and kinda like nothing mattered, ever since the n word thing, when Tim Burton stopped pretending to post online to me. Since then, a few complications have occurred.
So what I have to say about that is it would just be when I was 8 when I didn't write my cousin that I looked ugly and when I was 5 and started ballet. It was because I did gymnastics, too, not sure "what" happened to the other girls. I mean, it was like I knew what was wrong. I didn't cheat and say oh I did nothing all my life so am free for ballet, you know? Like not doing gymnastics is what makes you good at ballet.
I went to the mental hospital when I was 16 with that hard history course, too. I was fat after that, affected from it. Only a week. Here I went a month.
Problem
I found that Ellen DeGeneres actually doesn't have the personality she thinks she has in her arsenal. She is kinda mean to child prodigies and gets racist and lingers on it. Also, she thinks she's important.
Problem
Tim Burton, you can't rub in to the world that Helena Bonham Carter is pretty and my mom is ugly. Why don't you like leave me alone in that light?
Also, why do you think the world stops because of you?
Why are you so like backing away like every little thing will hurt you?
I thought you stood for something. You didn't do shit.
Also, why do you think the world stops because of you?
Why are you so like backing away like every little thing will hurt you?
I thought you stood for something. You didn't do shit.
Problem
I don't think my mom wants to be in glasses at her age. I'm not sure what her problem is with Tim Burton. Helena Bonham Carter has money so probably doesn't need them.. It was something to do I know with that he apparently did art and wanted to say that like everyone else has to do something that's like worse than him and then he depended on his swimming maybe to give him the artistic stamina. Hm, I did that with singing in college, I know, and probably it enhanced my art. I did gymnastics hand in hand as a kid. I got glasses at 9, and I blame the kids at school. Also, I suddenly had lots to copy from the board that year, so I blame that, too. Too bad that was so far my favorite teacher.
Problem
Why does Tim Burton protect Nell racially against Eurasians who look white? Hm, maybe he doesn't.
Problem
Tim Burton probably would really not be serious that my mom has glasses and think she was bound to. However, most people wouldn't agree.
I just realized that it was like my mom didn't have fun in this country, and people who read it will say I'm spewing negro. That's what's not right. Kids have been doing that since Johnny Depp. I mean, she sees my dad, all the time. The woman doesn't necessarily work. What is it with my dad and money? I mean, we're not the poorest. Are we really that poor? My dad acts like my mom doesn't provide him with food, but he also complains he's too fat and doesn't want to eat and doesn't work out on his own. They actually rubbed in a lot that I didn't want him to. They thought maybe I liked him to give me attention. Why do you go off into bullshit thinking that's okay! D:' I MEAN OKAY THAT THEY THINK THAT!!! WHAT ARE YOU A PIECE OF SHIT.
I just realized that it was like my mom didn't have fun in this country, and people who read it will say I'm spewing negro. That's what's not right. Kids have been doing that since Johnny Depp. I mean, she sees my dad, all the time. The woman doesn't necessarily work. What is it with my dad and money? I mean, we're not the poorest. Are we really that poor? My dad acts like my mom doesn't provide him with food, but he also complains he's too fat and doesn't want to eat and doesn't work out on his own. They actually rubbed in a lot that I didn't want him to. They thought maybe I liked him to give me attention. Why do you go off into bullshit thinking that's okay! D:' I MEAN OKAY THAT THEY THINK THAT!!! WHAT ARE YOU A PIECE OF SHIT.
Problem
So, why would I follow like 100 IMDb accounts that are supposedly Tim Burton and then he stops and people are mean to me.
Then, something else I don't remember.
It seems like the highlight of my life is my Blogger background. It might not be the best background for the public, but it's a clever theme that follows popular trends. I personally enjoy it.
Oh yes, why make fun of someone for being accurate?
Then, something else I don't remember.
It seems like the highlight of my life is my Blogger background. It might not be the best background for the public, but it's a clever theme that follows popular trends. I personally enjoy it.
Oh yes, why make fun of someone for being accurate?
Doing Chores
I actually did the dishes, last night, and even put them in the dishwasher. I am too tired to finish the laundry this evening.
About Bedtime
My dad was up like until past 11 or 12 on the night of I think Saturday. He went to bed around 9 or something or between then and 9:30 P.M. on Friday. My mom and brother went on vacation for maybe around a week.
Edited Video Rankings
I changed the *** on "Drink With Me" and "I Dreamed a Dream" and maybe others to 1 *. I am tempted to take them down.
Problem
So, saying that you are not very accomplished but are like loaded with meat because of where you're from, doesn't that make you a bad person? I mean, isn't it your responsibility to be able to either make yourself happy or treat others with respect, like those who are by themselves in a corner or living their life?
Movie
I had a pretzel, which was big, and an orange juice.
Before, I got a sandwich at a healthy restaurant and a smoothie there, which was pretty plain, watery|icy.
Before, I got a sandwich at a healthy restaurant and a smoothie there, which was pretty plain, watery|icy.
Movie
Les Misérables
I went to the bathroom before and after. During, I'm pretty sure I went 4 times. I didn't miss most all of what I anticipated.
I liked how the little boy seemed so strong and seemed to exemplify the common desires of all.
I also liked how the chorus women developed.
I wonder if the women in it knew why they didn't sound like those German art songs, you know, kinda like a horn or the sorta fuzzy sound that I bet a lot of more European singers sound like, though more playful and seemingly not classical, more rebellious, though I believe now they are accepted. I heard a lady like that from Russia, have it recorded from iTunes radio. At least, I think she's Russian.
I went to the bathroom before and after. During, I'm pretty sure I went 4 times. I didn't miss most all of what I anticipated.
I liked how the little boy seemed so strong and seemed to exemplify the common desires of all.
I also liked how the chorus women developed.
I wonder if the women in it knew why they didn't sound like those German art songs, you know, kinda like a horn or the sorta fuzzy sound that I bet a lot of more European singers sound like, though more playful and seemingly not classical, more rebellious, though I believe now they are accepted. I heard a lady like that from Russia, have it recorded from iTunes radio. At least, I think she's Russian.
Something Funny
If I was going from my American side, why would I think that I had inhibited myself to be European like thinking oh but I have heritage from out-of-the-U.S. anyway?
Old Music
So, when did like those space things come out? I'm listening to A Clockwork Orange from 1972.
I like the 4th movement from "Pomp & Circumstance."
Now, I'm listening to Beethoven's 9th and I know everyone loves this. I used to find it really different. Now, it sounds kinda old and techy.
Ah, yes!! 3D It's very marchy. It sounds in perfect sync. It's perfect music! ;D
If you don't know about this movie, my dad told me about it when I was 7 or 6, I think, if not maybe even 5? Probably 6. It's about being tortured to music you love, like being changed. It's supposed to be really big. A lot of people in school started talking about it awhile after my dad told me, and it became overrated, tacky, and trashed, through the years, like everyone knew it. Then, people talked about it like you were a nigger.
Wow, it's like a swing music. Hm, must be modern German or classical German. Did you know well that the Classical period ended with Beethoven, who started the Romantic period? I know Back is Baroque and Mozart is Classical.
I like the 4th movement from "Pomp & Circumstance."
Now, I'm listening to Beethoven's 9th and I know everyone loves this. I used to find it really different. Now, it sounds kinda old and techy.
Ah, yes!! 3D It's very marchy. It sounds in perfect sync. It's perfect music! ;D
If you don't know about this movie, my dad told me about it when I was 7 or 6, I think, if not maybe even 5? Probably 6. It's about being tortured to music you love, like being changed. It's supposed to be really big. A lot of people in school started talking about it awhile after my dad told me, and it became overrated, tacky, and trashed, through the years, like everyone knew it. Then, people talked about it like you were a nigger.
Wow, it's like a swing music. Hm, must be modern German or classical German. Did you know well that the Classical period ended with Beethoven, who started the Romantic period? I know Back is Baroque and Mozart is Classical.
This is a bit different from all the modern English we've been getting. It seems different from the organ music I'm used to and like, though. I always thought it sounded retarded, like cut off, rhythmic, nice and simple to follow but well-orchestrated.
Wow, something just totally clicked. It reminds me of French, now.
Wow, I can totally elaborate on the same feeling.
I had a German foreign exchange student, and Germanic things were popular and there were foreign exchange students from that side of Europe, when I wa 16 and 17. In college, the voice instructor was obsessed with German and lived there 20 years with her husband from Harvard, though their singing was plainstyle and annoying. They seemed to really take to me though I'd been strict on. I took a group voice class all year, the 2nd semester being Italian. It was actually the official voice major class because I did Music Education, stated it upon entering. Before wanted Composition and auditioned for Voice, too.
Also a big thing was to try to act German. I guess in and out English has been woven in in experience, exposed, though, like I remember for instance seeing this attractive English girl at New Year's with a thick, sleek frame, not too tall, bleached smooth hair. I saw a girl or more like this on TV lead people through a house, too. I've seen other English people, like on Science videos and when my brother watches TV, people not that healthy. Tim Burton and Johnny Depp lead the whole English French thing. It seems Tim Burton can understand French. Tim Burton did English. All hail, Tim Burton! 3D
I know a lot of people were anti-English anti-everything German, but I was accepted as perfect for all cultures. It's just something you can try to do. I guess I was lacking some meat.
Hm, this music isn't too long in the main exciting part. So, I'm not rocking through it all this time. It's kinda in the background.
Problem
So, you think I get mad because I think people will make fun of me for being nice? No, that's why I don't take it back and why I'm afraid to say I'm just taking out my anger safely and utilizing my blog. If I had to say who it was to, probably I wouldn't. I'd go and do something else, instead. I mean, yea, I was mad, and yea it seemed like something that came up.
Problem
So, I wonder if I wasn't taken out of my major if I could have been smart enough to eventually, thinking of quitting the music major and possibly going into 1 simple program plus maybe a required minor ... if I'd consider ever coming home and blogging, seeing as I'm not really getting anywhere financially. Also, would I get on Blogger? Would I get a program and figure out how to make nice backgrounds? How would I become as good as who I am today?
Problem
I'm so annoyed with this annoying little noises in my room. I feel as though I'll forget out to communicate like with nuances because I don't like it.
Problem
I can't find a post I made. I can't find when I was having my female thing. I think it was over a week ago, was pretty light. What do you think happened? Do you think blog posts like that disappear? I even searched through pages. I remember it was as I was leaving. I found it. It was 10 days ago, a few blogs back. It was also a few days after it had begun. So, that's like 2 weeks of leakage. What's so good about that medicine, now? Also, I got it early. Maybe the good food.
Problem
Also, I realized I was irritated from little bugbite wounds all over my legs and at least 2 on my arm. I asked my dad to leave out some cream. They're really itching more acutely for a longer period of time. I know it made me feel different going out.
This never happened. I was really upset about maybe getting upset out people being mean atutely and curse words flipping the pinnacle of my thoughts, which may be funny, though I don't think that was the best choice of reaction into which to flow, yes I find it degrading people who have to behave that way.. So what never happened ... also about getting mad yesterday and those 2 violent things I thought because I'm in habit of not directing my anger at any 1 person but have found it to be unexplained if you're supposed to do this, get out as much anger as possible without physically nor pointedly hurting anyone. So, what happened was I was feeling bad and tired and I stimulated myself a little. I dunno, maybe I had been stimulated. So, I went to the bathroom and am still on my female thing, which I lost for over a year from the psyc medicine, and actually it more than doubled, which is pretty light, was rather gooey in feel and seemed kinda like liquidy|juicy.
This never happened. I was really upset about maybe getting upset out people being mean atutely and curse words flipping the pinnacle of my thoughts, which may be funny, though I don't think that was the best choice of reaction into which to flow, yes I find it degrading people who have to behave that way.. So what never happened ... also about getting mad yesterday and those 2 violent things I thought because I'm in habit of not directing my anger at any 1 person but have found it to be unexplained if you're supposed to do this, get out as much anger as possible without physically nor pointedly hurting anyone. So, what happened was I was feeling bad and tired and I stimulated myself a little. I dunno, maybe I had been stimulated. So, I went to the bathroom and am still on my female thing, which I lost for over a year from the psyc medicine, and actually it more than doubled, which is pretty light, was rather gooey in feel and seemed kinda like liquidy|juicy.
Problem
I just woke up and was insulted. I was tapped into like a piece of shit. None of it was a fact, it was just a bunch of elaborated wishes. I told you to stop.
Why can't we get Ellen DeGeneres or whoever's impersonating her? Why is she appealing to bad people and invading my blog? I mean, I can blog whatever I want.
So, I woke up and heard 2 noises by my clock and my left I like doubled over in some force. It's very uncomfortable. Hey, now they're gonna linger on the idea that I'm weak.
Stop bothering me. Hey, listen. I'm right. You're bothering me.
What happened to my left eye?
Also, I know I was tired and up for a long time and though ate healthily am full.
I did have to go to the bathroom.
Are you just sitting there stooping to the results of your own actions? Can you just quit it? I don't care what Ellen DeGeneres thinks about each time I feel upset and hurting me for it.
I feel sick. D3
Why can't we get Ellen DeGeneres or whoever's impersonating her? Why is she appealing to bad people and invading my blog? I mean, I can blog whatever I want.
So, I woke up and heard 2 noises by my clock and my left I like doubled over in some force. It's very uncomfortable. Hey, now they're gonna linger on the idea that I'm weak.
Stop bothering me. Hey, listen. I'm right. You're bothering me.
What happened to my left eye?
Also, I know I was tired and up for a long time and though ate healthily am full.
I did have to go to the bathroom.
Are you just sitting there stooping to the results of your own actions? Can you just quit it? I don't care what Ellen DeGeneres thinks about each time I feel upset and hurting me for it.
I feel sick. D3
Need to Lie Down
Probably fall asleep. 3( Upset. May get up.
So yea really sorry about the association. Not sure why it came up, but it did. The magnitude was bad. It just seems kinda like I didn't know what to do, and it really wasn't supposed to be directed at a person. Hope we can figure out like if these problems will just keep coming.
So yea really sorry about the association. Not sure why it came up, but it did. The magnitude was bad. It just seems kinda like I didn't know what to do, and it really wasn't supposed to be directed at a person. Hope we can figure out like if these problems will just keep coming.
Problem
So, where are these messages coming from, now? What about my need to let out my anger not at one particular person on my blog? What now? Do I need to be danger aware? M. So, what, do I have to be careful around people's eyes? I've been clumsy, lately, since Les Misérables.
My Problem
So, I lost my female thing from the psyc meds, and now it's coming back long and super duper light right now. So, that means my mood must be really poor quality.
I also got kinda hurt for doing something that upset Aunt 1, just because, when "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" stopped, like I found what ticked. Now, I don't want to deal with this and like have it not matter. If it keeps going so be it, it still happened and it still is an issue. I can't really know if I can brush it aside. I mean, why should I stay up and type about stuff like this? I mean, I thought this was like something you didn't like. Why would I say stuff like that? I mean, I see, it fits, and I didn't mean it in a literal way, but I know you don't like it, at all, but secretly find it like pretend. I don't even know why I said it but have a feeling I had a reason to Maybe it's because it wasn't really to 1 person and it came up and I don't know why.
I also got kinda hurt for doing something that upset Aunt 1, just because, when "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" stopped, like I found what ticked. Now, I don't want to deal with this and like have it not matter. If it keeps going so be it, it still happened and it still is an issue. I can't really know if I can brush it aside. I mean, why should I stay up and type about stuff like this? I mean, I thought this was like something you didn't like. Why would I say stuff like that? I mean, I see, it fits, and I didn't mean it in a literal way, but I know you don't like it, at all, but secretly find it like pretend. I don't even know why I said it but have a feeling I had a reason to Maybe it's because it wasn't really to 1 person and it came up and I don't know why.
Problem
So, what's wrong, now? Hm, I smell danger. So, why are you getting me mad? You want me to just like want to hurt you? Stop saying I'm a nigger for not wanting to hurt you, like I'm trying to be nice and didn't admit something.
Problem
Stop telling me I have to do everything you do because I'm better than you in so many ways and maybe more ways than you.
Stop telling me I did all this junk I didn't even do. I know you're wrong. Stop bothering me all day.
Stop telling me I did all this junk I didn't even do. I know you're wrong. Stop bothering me all day.
Problem
Stop keeping adding something bad.
I'M GONNA *BEEP* YOU. DID YOU JUST BRING UP MY DAD AND ME DOING SOMETHING I LIKE BEING NOT OKAY BECAUSE I LIKE IT?
I'M GONNA *BEEP* YOU. DID YOU JUST BRING UP MY DAD AND ME DOING SOMETHING I LIKE BEING NOT OKAY BECAUSE I LIKE IT?
Problem
GET ELLEN DEGENERES TO STOP THESE MESSAGES IN PRIVATE BECAUSE OF THE N WORD THING AND OTHER LITTLE THINGS.
STOP! I DON'T WANT TO BE STUPID. I'm not going to live in a world of bullshit. Stop saying the world is really bad and my fantasies are false. SOMEONE GET HER. SHE'S LYING.
Hey stop loading the page funny all the time. Stop taking out your anger you piece of shit.
STOP! I DON'T WANT TO BE STUPID. I'm not going to live in a world of bullshit. Stop saying the world is really bad and my fantasies are false. SOMEONE GET HER. SHE'S LYING.
Hey stop loading the page funny all the time. Stop taking out your anger you piece of shit.
Problem
So why did you make me feel like I don't want kids? Answer. Maybe, I should like figure you're just stupid.
Problem
Hey, stop! SHUT UP. My right girl sack. You're nothing, absolutely nothing. Why should I not care about that? Come up with a real reason. Something that's not like because you're in trouble or because actually I do favor other people over you and if you have kids hm something I don't want to know.
Problem
Hey, why did Ellen DeGeneres bother me with noises in my room and the way things load for ½ year? What about this boy I met? What, did you "find him, too?"
Problem
I SAID STOP. IS THIS ANOTHER "MESSAGE FROM ELLEN?" JUST SHUT UP. You don't deserve her to approve of you. Stop saying I can't like her.
Problem
Ellen DeGeneres is a *beep* because she thinks I should die someday anyway. She also thinks I really mean what I say to certain people. SHUT UP. STOP. I SAID STOP. LEAVE ME ALONE. I heard an annoying noise. Hm, you want me to just say I hope that she doesn't give me any attention, but you think you posted something for her to relate to or are nice to keep to not directing it toward the likings of her.. Stop, I'm not dealing with your making fun of what I say for no apparent reason you will not explain.
Problem
Why is Ellen DeGeneres bringing up things and then like not caring that she was wrong? She keeps doing this. I'm getting these messages in private, afterthoughts. She's just a wild hose from the New Orleans area.
Look, I told you to stop. Go c** yourself in the f***, you piece of crap.
Look, I told you to stop. Go c** yourself in the f***, you piece of crap.
Problem
GO AWAY YOU PIECE OF SHIT
You're just being a nigger and treating me like a nigger. You're a piece of shit you can't hold in your shit. You're just a piece of shit. Go b*** your b**** and ***.
And leave me alone for "what came up."
WHO GAVE MY MOM GLASSES? What's so cool about it? It looks suspicious to me. I don't have to be hurt by my dad. He was threatened to be arrested, and I'm trying to have a successful relationship but am getting that Ellen DeGeneres is antsy. I am not sure of the truth in her actually doing it just like this.
You're just being a nigger and treating me like a nigger. You're a piece of shit you can't hold in your shit. You're just a piece of shit. Go b*** your b**** and ***.
And leave me alone for "what came up."
WHO GAVE MY MOM GLASSES? What's so cool about it? It looks suspicious to me. I don't have to be hurt by my dad. He was threatened to be arrested, and I'm trying to have a successful relationship but am getting that Ellen DeGeneres is antsy. I am not sure of the truth in her actually doing it just like this.
Problem
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU'RE SUCH A NIGGER. STOP PICKING ON ME FOR SAYING THAT. YOU'RE ALL JUST CRAP. YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE. WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT YOU? YOU'RE JUST A PIECE OF CRAP. YOU WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU'RE JUST A SPITEFUL NIGGER.
Someone stop them, they're gonna hurt me. They just annoyed me. They keep picking on me for when I get mad at something important and then ruin it. This is gonna bother me. This wasn't supposed to happen, neither. Who cares "what" Ellen DeGeneres thinks of this? WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT? COME ON, ANSWER DUMMY...
Someone stop them, they're gonna hurt me. They just annoyed me. They keep picking on me for when I get mad at something important and then ruin it. This is gonna bother me. This wasn't supposed to happen, neither. Who cares "what" Ellen DeGeneres thinks of this? WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT? COME ON, ANSWER DUMMY...
Problem
Just stop. Ellen DeGeneres needs to stop getting things out when something doesn't go her way.
Problem
I told you to stop.
You're making up weird fantasies about people related to people I care about.
I don't care what you say. Stop acting like a piece of shit to my dad sucked up to him.
You're making up weird fantasies about people related to people I care about.
I don't care what you say. Stop acting like a piece of shit to my dad sucked up to him.
Problem
I think Ellen DeGeneres is trying to ruin my brain so I can't do certain things but doesn't want to say anything. Stop slobbering all over my blog and getting in my private life, you *beep* devil.
Problem
STOP GETTING MAD AT PEOPLE LIKE ELLEN DEGENERES AS BAIT FOR ME BECAUSE SHE'S MEAN TO ME AND BETTER THAN YOU.
Problem
No one cares about Ellen DeGeneres having a mom with a Jewish last name. I mean, like, she shouldn't be treated well for her antics at being special in the way she is, which is in private her sending messages via wire that she can only be annoying.
Problem
Stop hurting me after I post online. I can make a point. I didn't do anything wrong. Look, prove it. I SAID STOP. TALK.
Problem
Ellen DeGeneres keeps saying stuff that's not right and seems to be happy like before she's hurting me in private. Hey, stop. You're wrong. I'd h*** you. You have a problem with being nice to people.
Problem
STOP GETTING MAD AT ME FOR CURSING AND STOP SAYING I'M A NIGGER AND SUGGESTING MY KIDS WILL BE. What are you a freak? You are just like everyone else. What did you send me now, wasting your time? You're so mean. I do want to talk to people, and I don't think other people are better than you.
I got a message from Ellen DeGeneres. STOP. Just because someone insulted you you're playing cool and insulting other people. Why don't you accept it?
HEY LEAVE ME ALONE I DON'T WANT TO RUIN MY RELATIONSHIP TO HER. GO TEACH YOURSELF A LESSON. LISTEN. I'M NOT WASTING MY TIME ON YOU. Ooh, so, that means you won't talk to me, because you're ruining the other people I know. What do you think I sound like now? Stop it you annoying people. You also sound like Chloë Grace Moretz. Stop. Leave me alone. I'm not doing anything wrong. You did it. Some stranger didn't do it. Hey, quit it, stop saying I'm mimicking people. You're wrong.
Hey, now, I'm getting annoying noises invading me. Look, I don't care about you. I told you to leave me alone. You're wasting my time. Stop saying stuff that's not true. Like that it's cool to make up mean stuff.
I got a message from Ellen DeGeneres. STOP. Just because someone insulted you you're playing cool and insulting other people. Why don't you accept it?
HEY LEAVE ME ALONE I DON'T WANT TO RUIN MY RELATIONSHIP TO HER. GO TEACH YOURSELF A LESSON. LISTEN. I'M NOT WASTING MY TIME ON YOU. Ooh, so, that means you won't talk to me, because you're ruining the other people I know. What do you think I sound like now? Stop it you annoying people. You also sound like Chloë Grace Moretz. Stop. Leave me alone. I'm not doing anything wrong. You did it. Some stranger didn't do it. Hey, quit it, stop saying I'm mimicking people. You're wrong.
Hey, now, I'm getting annoying noises invading me. Look, I don't care about you. I told you to leave me alone. You're wasting my time. Stop saying stuff that's not true. Like that it's cool to make up mean stuff.
Problem
I guess we'll stop feeding Ellen DeGeneres. She's from the New Orleans area and went crazy moving to L.A. like everyone from there. Why can't she just stop sending these messages? Or whatever whoever is doing it. It's a part of culture, and everyone knows now she's just like getting mad at all this stuff and is uncomfortable and making other people hurt me, like I know in my room alone. Also, it's throughout the day. Sometimes, it seems like most of my day online. It happened for ½ year. LOOK I'M RIGHT. I guess she doesn't care about people like me. I thought maybe she wouldn't but that she'd warm up to me. I mean, do you really like her?
Problem
STOP. You're hurting me. Stop barking at me. I SAID STOP. YOU MAKE NO SENSE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU. I don't feel guilty. What now? Why do you think I'll believe this? I don't want to do this. What's your problem? I don't believe you. No one does. I TOLD YOU TO STOP. Stop saying it's my fault. You should be unaffected. See, I figured it out.
Problem
Ellen DeGeneres doesn't realize that being bad also will get her in trouble and not keep her safe. LOOK STOP THREATENING TO HURT PEOPLE. Let's make sure it's not a precaution in the world. Let's see if we can ease out of it. Why not work on it? I don't believe in not working on fixing it.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Problem
Leave me alone. I can blog whatever I want. I don't need someone hurting me, all the time. What's wrong with my blog now? No curse words. No threats. Don't you get mad sometimes? You do as much as you can, but you can't hurt anyone. You try to be nice, but then people think everything is trying to hurt them. The funniest thing happened at the mall, and I know you've probably sauced over it, in some way, in your own way. So, you think I'm a nigger if I don't hurt you?! HA!
Problem
Why should I care about you? You keep saying things are true that aren't.
Also, why do you keep bringing up tight situations? Are you a dodo?
Also, why do you keep bringing up tight situations? Are you a dodo?
Problem
You don't have to bring up things and associate bad things with good things to me. What do you think I am? Explain, dummy. Why are you saying this is Ellen DeGeneres? Why doesn't she seem to deny it? How's that gonna help? Gotta problem? Or is it something complicated? You can't just figure out some way to avoid this. You're still wrong. I know where you come from, both places.
Respecting the Past
Ellen DeGeneres doesn't seem to respect the idea of negros looking back at their past, like a southern NYC feel. My idea of New Orleans negros, not the black ladies wading in the streets (which is with atail of kids, seen most times in the city it seems ... some of you may never know) was being like attractive sorta in the Communications fie'ld.
I know I understand this and don't live it and other people kinda reject it.
What about things they preach in English and History, the "Harlem Renaissance." '8I
I know I understand this and don't live it and other people kinda reject it.
What about things they preach in English and History, the "Harlem Renaissance." '8I
What was your childhood like?
I wasn't allowed to play in some endless field or through a backyard. So, I ate my ration and like I mean I could eat lots of sweets, but after I quit exercise for awhile and moved like I pretty much would bloat after any meal. I don't know how I managed before martial arts once a week. It had grappling.
Problem
Why do you want every experience to be like literal and not like interesting with things made up and feelings?
Generation Weaknesses
What if what made you feel more like weak was "what" the generation below you did? Did you think about people feeling weak about "what" their own generation "is allowed to do" in relation to Late Boom? Because of the mean age of parents of peers?
Wrong Racial Decisions
People realize they were racist but don't realize it was wrong and that that can't be the reason. How can you be philosophically ruled out with no explanation farted out?
Overcoming Obstacles
So, if you've had a problem a long time and everyone has the same problem, you meet Ellen DeGeneres and she tells you to just jump in the pool and change this fixture you have you can't overcome and that dictates the peak of your very life?
Problem
If I lived all over the U.S., why can you tell me otherwise? Are you certified to do it? Just a question. It's not something you're allowed to do to just me..
Problem
I do not agree with my life ***ually following in the mistakes of my dad, like I had to decide to be like him, like fate. Like, maybe he doesn't jump in. I don't think he was the 1 who doesn't jump in because he's white but maybe part Jewish and "supposedly" a little part Native American indian.
Being "European"
So, my mom thinks I should do what I'm supposed to but doesn't seem to know why I seem like sickly but not like in a precious way but precious in a tacky way. Why is my dad kinda fat but not like gruff? Is that such a problem? Why was he like that?
Hm.. Maybe, Americans are just exaggerated.
Hm.. Maybe, Americans are just exaggerated.
Problem
If other kids are so bad and have to be so submissive, why must I be pushed to be their comrade in crime? I don't want to be submissive. I don't think anyone cares if I'm good and makes my life impossible. So, my conscience isn't guilty. Wait, why do people think that's okay to believe that? I mean, so maybe you do have that problem. So, what, do I just get to talk to no one? Or, like I noticed that nice people still like me. I don't expect them to, but I don't want to get in a disagreement because of other people being jealous.
Problem
Why do you think I sit here and want people to know everything I do all the time via video camera? That's just a fun thing. If you're mad, you're not supposed to be with me.
Also, I don't want rubbed in the fact that it happens and maybe like it should mean nothing, in general. HA!
Also, I don't want rubbed in the fact that it happens and maybe like it should mean nothing, in general. HA!
Asia
I would know about Asians mixing in the world but am not from Texas, Australia, nor L.A.
So, there is a place in Asia I think called Indonchina, but I'm not sure, and there are countries there by China that loom Middle Eastern, like Nepal. I met an attractive guy from another, let me see...Burma. I know he was nice to me but didn't talk to me, I think.
So, Oriental Asia would include these countries with India as sorta the borderline:
(1) China
(2) Japan
(3) Thailand
(4) Vietnam
(5) Korea
Don't forget about the Filipins.
I bet most Asians would know like so much about this, like the kids would say, at least some in some areas or maybe most in some areas or most areas. I'm not sure over in Asia. I think they'd understand. I think you're getting a lot of people like from Nepal getting popular online. They look kinda like Filipinos but are from inland by China and India, so it's like Vietnam and I think seems to me like it was next to it.
So, there is a place in Asia I think called Indonchina, but I'm not sure, and there are countries there by China that loom Middle Eastern, like Nepal. I met an attractive guy from another, let me see...Burma. I know he was nice to me but didn't talk to me, I think.
So, Oriental Asia would include these countries with India as sorta the borderline:
(1) China
(2) Japan
(3) Thailand
(4) Vietnam
(5) Korea
Don't forget about the Filipins.
I bet most Asians would know like so much about this, like the kids would say, at least some in some areas or maybe most in some areas or most areas. I'm not sure over in Asia. I think they'd understand. I think you're getting a lot of people like from Nepal getting popular online. They look kinda like Filipinos but are from inland by China and India, so it's like Vietnam and I think seems to me like it was next to it.
Something Weird
Do you know know about people who fall asleep in logic, like say someone would say oh I think you did something for me but you're just worse than a piece of dirt trash, worse than nothing, because of your race, but some people like they are aware that they don't like their race, you know, what can you do, just stick your head in a hole of vacuum?
I do find it weird when some people think they are like more like Tim Burton than me. I guess I don't really find it funny to be interested in Tim Burton.
I do find it weird when some people think they are like more like Tim Burton than me. I guess I don't really find it funny to be interested in Tim Burton.
Problem
Also, trying to help me from complaining at home is not gonna help because I don't think I complained a much as the year got on and I started ballet. It seems like I may have complained until I went to a public high school. So, I went all these years with nothing and now I try to do something and I get sorta this fartsy attitude from people like Tim Burton I feel, when I'm so nice and perfect, he like digs into your past like you're a wart.
Problems
I noticed a few things concerning the messages I'm getting about Ellen DeGeneres.
Maybe, she's a bit like has a horny shell from being Jewish, thinking she's special her mom's last name is Jewish. I met someone here with a Jewish last name. She's her age, Ginny Kopf, on my Facebook. What I mean is I'm getting the message like there's some rough thing I didn't do. You know?
Also, she seems to excuse everyone but me because of my race and won't admit in the end it will be wrong to just be racist to me and not admit it. If I ever have an attitude, I'm not okay. I didn't grow up saying, "Mom, I hate you," but other kids did, and she accepts those kids.
Maybe, she's a bit like has a horny shell from being Jewish, thinking she's special her mom's last name is Jewish. I met someone here with a Jewish last name. She's her age, Ginny Kopf, on my Facebook. What I mean is I'm getting the message like there's some rough thing I didn't do. You know?
Also, she seems to excuse everyone but me because of my race and won't admit in the end it will be wrong to just be racist to me and not admit it. If I ever have an attitude, I'm not okay. I didn't grow up saying, "Mom, I hate you," but other kids did, and she accepts those kids.
Back
I showered and seem to have cleaned up a bunch of stuff. I'm doing my laundry and painted my nails. I cut them today, too, do often. Need to use my new clippers I got in a pack. I cut my right middle fingernail at an angle I think on the right but evened it out to a good degree.
I also got 2 subs, a drink, and a dessert, at a gas station.
I also got 2 subs, a drink, and a dessert, at a gas station.
Bothered
I was bothered and crossed the road with a car on a green light.
I realized people are unaccepting about new people online because other people will dis the internet.
Also, why does Tim Burton think you need to know everything, in advance?
Why am I getting annoying messages from people I know when I make a statement or figure something out?
Why is Tim Burton being mean subconsciously the reason for every conversation?
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I realized people are unaccepting about new people online because other people will dis the internet.
Also, why does Tim Burton think you need to know everything, in advance?
Why am I getting annoying messages from people I know when I make a statement or figure something out?
Why is Tim Burton being mean subconsciously the reason for every conversation?
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Eurasian
Anyone with any technical non-European has to make "the" Eurasian decision.
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Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
A Message From the Opera Ghost
If they do local region musicals like "Starlight Express," they should bus over the artists who live there.
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Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
History and High School and University
So, if I didn't do ballet would be to relax, blog, I guess be ready for college lectures and history, "historical," reading.
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Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Dreams
So, 1st, I was at a college, which was like my music school. There was this thin diction brunette teacher. We all huddled to class from her. I was attracted to her. I came back. For some reason, I imagined her carrying me. 1st, she like touched me, like put her arm around my body. I was wearing a casual dress and she was like massaging my crotch but not like ***********. After awhile, it felt perverted and I stopped when that happened. I liked the 1st time I saw her and she felt sorry for me losing my female thing and it felt kinda like more subtle but strong and then something else. I was unable to recreate the feeling and wanted to feel it all over a lot. Then, I walked somewhere. I was in this big like bathroom and finding a way to stimulate myself and it really worked but not like really good and my mom came in. I was embarrassed, saw her leave, didn't see her come, and pretend I was doing something else. I went to the front desk and it was about to close, whatever the place was. I asked about how to be a member. I followed a tall girl into the bathroom and found a stall, peed, while she showered and saw me go forward, another girl in there showering. I thought 1 was using the toilet. I said oh I peed on the floor and muttered some other things. I found after awhile there was no toilet and that there were maybe 3 toilets arranged in the enclosure. It was clean. So, then, I found another little room there and wanted to stimulate myself. I guess I came out and went to the front desk and found they took a photo ID of me with more of a triangular front to my face and a round head, my hair substantially covering the side of my face, a little curly-looking, like wavy ringlets. I walked away, looking at my picture.
I don't remember what was most interesting, but I woke up to a good feeling, a strange idea I was in a, like, totally fuzzy short dress and had, some shaded white.
I don't remember what was best, I think it was anticipating the diction teacher. I think I was skipping speech. It was like a series of a few days.
The stimulating house was a nice place, don't know what the places other than the bathrooms were for. I was talking to a little black dude who worked there, maybe 1 other black dude, 2 desks across the area facing each other on either side.
I know I had some dream where it was lite interacting with Ellen DeGeneres at a school.
I don't remember what was most interesting, but I woke up to a good feeling, a strange idea I was in a, like, totally fuzzy short dress and had, some shaded white.
I don't remember what was best, I think it was anticipating the diction teacher. I think I was skipping speech. It was like a series of a few days.
The stimulating house was a nice place, don't know what the places other than the bathrooms were for. I was talking to a little black dude who worked there, maybe 1 other black dude, 2 desks across the area facing each other on either side.
I know I had some dream where it was lite interacting with Ellen DeGeneres at a school.
Dreams
This 1 was neat. I woke up and it felt like the position I thought it was like Ellen DeGeneres would be in. I felt a made up person's boobs, kinda solid and strong and kinda like warm behind my shoulder blade. In my dream, I was on the floor with my hands propped behind me. I saw her finally come near me and smile, didn't look exactly like her, indented eyes and she said something with excitement and looked straight and me and was like gonna scoot over. Then, she looked thin and kinda like a nurse. I think something scary or annoying happened, for awhile, and I woke up.
I forget the next, but I think it was something to do with her like that. Anyway, that was really neat, for some reason.
I think the 2nd 1, ah yes, I was walking around like a huge warehouse with a seemingly endless dome to do with class, with my cell phone I think. The memory keeps waving in. I just can't remember, though. I think I was seeing a like supposed new version of Ellen DeGeneres. Supposedly, yes, I was in Orlando and she was recording|filming there. Maybe, that was another part. She was like really like a stampede supposed to see me because I was there, not sure what else. Maybe, like an hour on the weekend or what seemed like 20 minutes of her being frantic. I was like part of something. She taught a class, maybe a college, not like it was expected. I, like anyone. was wondering who would go. In the end, I thought it was L.A. Something else happened. It wasn't like she was clear in this dream, neither.
I forget the next, but I think it was something to do with her like that. Anyway, that was really neat, for some reason.
I think the 2nd 1, ah yes, I was walking around like a huge warehouse with a seemingly endless dome to do with class, with my cell phone I think. The memory keeps waving in. I just can't remember, though. I think I was seeing a like supposed new version of Ellen DeGeneres. Supposedly, yes, I was in Orlando and she was recording|filming there. Maybe, that was another part. She was like really like a stampede supposed to see me because I was there, not sure what else. Maybe, like an hour on the weekend or what seemed like 20 minutes of her being frantic. I was like part of something. She taught a class, maybe a college, not like it was expected. I, like anyone. was wondering who would go. In the end, I thought it was L.A. Something else happened. It wasn't like she was clear in this dream, neither.
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