Dream

I don't remember all of it, but it was very emotional.  I was lying like in a hotel bed.  I had the feeling of being carried that I was imagining or having happen to me.  It felt like Ellen DeGeneres was looming over me in the distance.  It was like by the cooling device.  I had sorta the feeling I was where I was, in my bed for real..  So, then I had the feeling my middle finger was going up, didn't realize it was my middle finger.  I put my other finger or fingers over it from my other hand, and it kinda worked but didn't and the middle finger and kinda the other fingers, maybe especially my ring finger, went up again, with a very weighted pressure that was kinda fuzzy, kinda like "pins and needles."  I think it really was.  Then, I felt like that my other arm was doing it or something.  That was awhile.  I found I was lying on my side.  So, that side was magically feeling the same pressure going up.  It was scary, though, because I didn't know what was going on.  Oh, yes, I kinda woke up just to see to make sure I could tell people later that I pretty much "saw it happen."  For some reason, it was so hard to open my eyes.  I thought I saw but didn't so much and closed my eyes again.  I think then, kinda expectedly, I felt my whole body, like I felt when I went to the Cleveland area during the hurricane, like with all that pressure as though it had all gone up like my finger. I wasn't really believing that.  I don't think that actually happened.  It was so scary, though, what happened to my finger.  So, then, I imagined like I guess some things happened, I went around the hotel maybe.  I was on my bed and I eventually faced my pillow if not right away and I was feeling myself stimulated with where my eyes were focused or pointing.  I think there was the though oh no her eyes are gonna cross.  Well, it was more fuzzy and somewhat light but someone intense, like I felt before.  Oh yes, I was feeling before, I guess in my sleep, realizing I met Ellen DeGeneres, like I met Tim Burton, thinking of where I used to live.  Maybe, living in the New Orleans area wore off and I was excited to see her.  I don't really know how I recovered.  I mean what I felt like moving there, but I mean I do have memories there.  I didn't really feel like I was in Florida.  So, I felt like kinda with the going up in the air like I was sorta like some idea of like relief.  I think before I was wondering about it.  I don't believe that's what happened at the start, and obviously in time I didn't actually feel kinda like I went up in the air, then.  I also had the feeling though that I really was moving funnily in my sleep, my side floating up kinda and that the look was really scary.  I am pretty sure that happened to my finger because I woke up I thought and put it down and probably was more asleep when I thought my side was floating.  It felt just like it did when I was awake 5 years ago, just realized it's been 5 years, except then it wasn't a pins and needles feeling.  I guess it made me feel kinda like magic, like I solved life.  No one's ever told me this happened to them.  I thought something bad would happen, but it was like I'd go to Heaven.

What I've been doing is lying in my bed trying to feel like people are stimulating me, and I sorta wake up and worry about things like how I left the dog outside and went to lie in bed.  I guess that ruined my evening, but it's something no one would care about if I let the dog in, you know?  That might be scary.  I wasn't too tired.  I was worried about if I'd wait for a minute and let him back out or about putting the waterbowl out.  I know that the dog likes it when it's cold.  That's why I let him out, also so I'd be alone..

I guess it disturbs me that someone could have seen me through the experiment.  Before, the experiment stopped.  1st, it was supposedly through the college.  Then, I'd been in the experiment, not as a communication tool.  I guess I just simply imagined what was happening.  Then, it stopped, and I'd experienced what felt and was like getting other worldly sounds sensed and sorta heard in an other-worldly way that were all interesting and like words mostly, like weird, really good cartoons but not like Disney as in Mickey Mouse.., so then I came home and thought that the world still was another world.  I was only here for the end of the fall and the winter.  Like, people represented certain stories of other characters.  It was more organized and themed, though, not something I could remember like a story and I've posted about it, in the past, I think on a blog or more than 1 blog.  So, then, it finally stopped, after I went back to school and felt tortured.  I think before coming home, for some reason, it still seemed magic, but the magic died and so did the noises.  I didn't hear anything here.  Well, I did recently, 1 noise, and I blogged it.  It was when The Hobbit came out.  Les Misérables just came out for Christmas, and today is Friday and I was gonna go see it.  Instead, I stayed home, tired from my walks.  I wanna walk again because I ran out of pizza.  Anyway, so, then, the experiment stopped and I had gotten in trouble for doing bad in school it felt, though I was a good student and I was tired.  I was expecting from the experiment to a high degree like endless pleasure and things I wanted organized.  No one would communicate to me anything.  I was always given the cold shoulder.  I thought the people in public were mostly or sometimes all a part of the experiment, and it was fun to think that though I didn't like it for a lot of reasons.  I couldn't interact with anyone.  So, the experiment stopped, I thought, and I never was sure it was real.  Then, I thought I was sure when I thought I was posting to Tim Burton.  I guess I found out that they were watching me, or they were at least communicating.  I kinda liked it, but I kinda would have preferred to see Tim Burton through the years.  Why wasn't he like he was in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?  I don't know, but I know I wasn't online, then.  So, then that kinda stopped, the thinking he was posting online.  So, what I'm saying is that people know if this really happened or not, I mean the moving of my dream.