Wednesday, January 2, 2013

What I Found There

Teachers don't care @ lectures.

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Buses

Words in lights

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See you all, a little later!..

Enjoying Your OOWN Entertainmen.t

Did you ever wonder why movie stars think you can't enjoy yourself entertaining when you're not already a movie star?  So, you might become one and embarrass yourself, they want?

Workout

I just did the warmup and it blew me away, quite a workout, o bravo!  Reminds me of step, quite a workout.  Like, we lifted our legs.  I guess, I'll do more soon unless I become disinterested.  I guess I shouldn't go for a walk but want to go to the mall.  I would jog, maybe the gym would be beneficial, with new lock.

Working Out

Cardio

Later, getting this video not just a rental: Core.

Being Young

So, I can act obviously like still a little girl and other people are but you don't see the cute, human features.  Like, the way you move your hands when you talk.

Shopping

At CVS, I decided to get the webcam which doesn't work and so will return it when I go back to McDonald's or somewhere else, a lock that has 4 directions for $10 all @ the same anyway, the straightener for $10 (funny there was 1 with light pink and 1 with darker pink) though I have 1 that works for me that dries I found, cheese and crackers, SpongeBob SquarePants sanitizer with a rubber connecting thing, and at the mall needed to get 2 hand cleaning things with like $1 or less glow holders, Wonderland body wash (already got acne grapefruit body wash with matching facial cleanser,) and a scarf and mittens though it's not cold now, just was a few days.

ALERT

I will not become serious like an Early Boomer and let tweens|teens today be sassy.

Old Post - Problem

Why are you playing with how every page loads?  Stop acting like I don't have the right to use the internet.  To post on my blog and other social networking sites.

Also, why won't my dad stop giving me weird secret messages?  He's made my life uncomfortable.  He hasn't made me bad, though.  WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?  ARE YOU STUPID?  STOP HURTING PEOPLE.  NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU.  I'll put you in a cold, cold room and feed you SHIT.

8

Hm M what was it?

I know I had spinach pizza.
Some beef and zucchini.

First I had a salad with lettuce, cauliflower, herb & garlic with lemon juice dressing, and Texas croutons.

Semi-cold water.

I asked for broccoli and radishes, I think, and have baby carrots and cool Spinach and French dip from my dad.  I had Dill before.

Help!

I was thinking of how annoyingly racist and stuck up Nell Burton is and felt that I might be my dad and thought of c**ting people's faces.  I keep thinking of that but got over it again.  Why is this happening like this?  Maybe, I'll go ahead and c** your face for you.  EMO BURTON FAN

Upset

I got really mad.  The refrigerator drawers are both broken now.

I thought Ellen DeGeneres, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton thought they had more heritage from the South than me.

So, they want to just state that as a fact and like try to embarrass me if they run into me.  Hm, I know about people with parents from other places, but I don't like my parents in that way.

Dreams

2 or 3, 2 bigger, substantial good dreams - had, I think, Ginny Kopf and Ellen DeGeneres.

How-To

So, how do you do it, do you like straighten your hair and then put the gel in and brush it out, wonder how that will look.  I have a better straightener, not sure if it was a present, don't think so, maybe got it with my allowance 2 years ago.  It dries and straightens at the same time, but I don't remember it working well.

Figuring It Out

Oh, so, you're happy I'm not that happy, anymore.

I guess I need to get some hair gel.  I have curl scrunching gel and a little other gel left, can ask my dad for more, if I don't feel like going anywhere.

[Look at All the] Jealous People

They get mad when they see you do something they like and they don't feel like doing it, yet.

New Video of Me

YouTube

2 more coming up of me mad in 2 hours, filmed before this 1

Health

Looking at my new pictures on Twitter, do you think I really need to work out?  Some people think it isn't necessary.  I used to highly believe in basing your life on working out and eating healthily, like a big breakfast.

Problem

Ginny Kopf didn't write me back about her class.

Problem

*Beep* the black lady who works at CVS.  Call the police.  I feel like I've been emptied.

Problem

Stop making me feel aggressive.

I don't give a bullshit about your statements about what people can do you niggers.

How I Feel

Not too tired but kinda lazy.

Problems

I feel dirty and disgusting.  I just successfully cleaned up in the bathroom.  I guess I was in the water and got tired, too, though.

Anyway, like, why do I have to learn like this?  I just figured maybe not go to CVS.  McDonald's was okay, at 1st, more like I wasn't ready.  I didn't feel like using the bathroom after.

Oh no, I forgot to clean my toilet seat when I took a shower-bath.

I used to walk to Wal-Mart.

I avoided the gas station.  What about the fast food restaurants?  I mean, sometimes I want supplies and just buy it.  I'll have to ask for money and will get maybe $40 a week.  Some of that is spent eating at the mall.

People in Orlando are so incessant to me.  What's going on?  Why not also treat me like I'm white?  What's so painful?  I thought I liked being white!

I know my finger will heal, but I don't really want to learn another lesson, even if I need to, because it's really annoying.  There is blood under a big flap of skin.  Well, I mean, what did I learn?  Why do I have nothing to throw around nor hit?  What else?  To not walk around now?  Go for short jogs?  I like what I bought.  I didn't like buying it.  I can ask my dad for fast food at lunch, though, and eat out with him.  He wouldn't bring me restaurant food, just didn't feel like it or didn't want to wait, maybe.

Shutting Down

Turning Off Computer

So, why does my internet keep shutting down?

Problem

Why are people like Johnny Depp and Ellen DeGeneres so literal and like don't see into the situation?  I mean, I'm in a tight situation, feel like I'm always in a classroom.

I realized my problem.

People are okay with me until they know I'm not white or see I'm shitty in a way that shows I'm not white for certain reasons not before.  Or just because I'm a little fat and maybe they find out about my race somehow, though I don't think they did in certain cases though I mean probably did.

Problem

I can't do anything with people thinking I'm my dad and that makes me "older."  They think he gave me like the reason to look shitty and my mom the reason not to look white.  How is my dad shitty?  Because he's from Pennsylvania and New York?

Cancelled

I was supposed to see Les Misérables today.

Need to Rest

I need to lie down.  I may leave the computer on.  Not sure how I will go to the bathroom.  I just have to be careful.  What about in public?  I mean the water will even go through the waterproof bandaid.  It's a big wound.

Problem

Why do I look like I'm covered in infested white stuff?  What is that, an egg?  Before, it was yellow shell wrapping.  I used to be into the shit of my dad.  Why is this happening now?  I mean, I've been trying to rest at home.

Problem

Stop sending me hateful messages.  I wonder why people would know all about me.  What am I gonna do about that going around?  I got the idea I had a daughter emitting some disgusting infested white stuff that made her whole, little body.

Problem

You're not supposed to tie me with my dad in ways I don't want to be tied and shouldn't be doing it, at all.

Problem

Why are you saying I don't deserve people to be nice to me behind closed doors?  I wanted to go to bed, but now I'm cut.  How will I use the bathroom?  Stop kidding around and leave me alone.  I'm not a nigger.  I TOLD YOU TO STOP.  YOU DIDN'T STOP.  STOP BEING STUPID.  You can't get mad.

Something Interesting

Disney is opening more to Fantasyland.  Expanding.  2014.

Problem

So, my dad supposedly is very kind, but then he just switches and I find him mean and uncaring later.  Like, I guess something like my face doesn't have a long, slim nose and I'm hun-gry and wouldn't mind gourmet, restaurant food.  Or I guess like me thinking I can do good in school, something as weird as that.  He seems to have pretty much left off with a plan.  I mean, why doesn't he leave me alone?  Don't you see this makes no sense?  He should just leave me alone.  I'm just here getting better.  I don't engage in pestering him.

Problem

I just want people to frickin stop making me uncomfortable for being in an experiment or lockdown.  I thought it was like a romance with a boy or something.

Problem

My dad seems to keep doing things to hurt me in ways like hypnotizing me or adjusting my situation or leaving a suggestive message to like only me just because I feel bad and it keeps getting worse.  Like, if I say something it means something, really..  Like, I'll find out later or find that everyone is concerned over nothing.

Problem

Why do people just keep making up stuff that I should be hurt after something happens?  I mean, it fits in sometimes, but I am guessing that it's jut a racial tool.  It seems that things are just messed up.

Footage of My Injured Hands

YouTube
Flickr

Plus, there's a card of a woman who looks like she thinks she's black like Ellen DeGeneres, like the Italians in history or more recent that look like Tim Burton but don't say so much that he is Italian.

Unraveling

My left hand, the fingers that were like felt almost like caking together in a through the air sense are unraveling like dead hands.  They've felt dead before and hurt.

Aw

I just saw a yellow wisp like a surreal ghost, which I've seen, leave the right side of my body on the top.

The people in Orlando are shit.  They messed with me.  The other side.  That side is my girls side.  Hm, it feels like a bed with a ghost.  I feel a pillow.  Someone is punching it with round, white fists..

Problem

Why totally torture me and put me in situations just when you're gonna call me a nigger for my race?  Don't discredit my mom's 500 years of Dutch heritage just because you're jealous and you think I'm shit.

Damage

My bone under my pinky is sticking out.

Feeling Better

My right hand isn't as wide.  My left feels like the sports coaches at my 1st high school, the public 1, at a sports school, because that's where we lived, where they were gonna build a health center and where the only Catholic school was.

The Ghost

It was kinda wispy, like rippled.  I just got a hair straightener.  There was 1 with light pink and 1 with a darker pink.  They were thin and cheap.  I am saving our money.  My dad only gives me $20 at a time, now, and my mom doesn't give me $100 a month.  They stopped when I bought like a bunch of ballet videos cause I had none, you know maybe 3 and some books etc., supplies maybe.  I was totally like feeling so bad, and it wasn't a mental disorder|etc.  Like insane..  Maybe I just felt bad about doing bad in school, but over the summer I mean it was possible.  I guess it was that I was incapable of lectures and reading history, which is longer than what you read in high school or what I read in honors non-"advanced placement," not sure about other classes, probably the same there.

Problem

Stop hurting me for things I did.  What did I do?  I didn't hurt anyone.

Aw

I just saw a yellow wisp like a surreal ghost, which I've seen, leave the right side of my body on the top.

The people in Orlando are shit.  They messed with me.  The other side.  That side is my girls side.  Hm, it feels like a bed with a ghost.  I feel a pillow.  Someone is punching it with round, white fists..

Problem

My left fingers feel like they're hooked together.  I didn't even hit anything much with that hand.

Problem

My left fingers feel like they're hooked together.  I didn't even hit anything much with that hand.

Problem

My left fingers feel like they're hooked together.  I didn't even hit anything much with that hand.

Problem

So, yea, I was so mad I wanted to smash stuff.

Now, my hands are numb and stiff.

The noises won't stop.  They act like they need to have them constantly in case I hear a bad one by mistake.  They're real.  They put a machine in my room.

Problem

So, yea, I was so mad I wanted to smash stuff.

Now, my hands are numb and stiff.

The noises won't stop.  They act like they need to have them constantly in case I hear a bad one by mistake.  They're real.  They put a machine in my room.

Problem

So, yea, I was so mad I wanted to smash stuff.

Now, my hands are numb and stiff.

The noises won't stop.  They act like they need to have them constantly in case I hear a bad one by mistake.  They're real.  They put a machine in my room.

Problem

So, yea, I was so mad I wanted to smash stuff.

Now, my hands are numb and stiff.

The noises won't stop.  They act like they need to have them constantly in case I hear a bad one by mistake.  They're real.  They put a machine in my room.

Problem

So, yea, I was so mad I wanted to smash stuff.

Now, my hands are numb and stiff.

The noises won't stop.  They act like they need to have them constantly in case I hear a bad one by mistake.  They're real.  They put a machine in my room.

Problem

So, yea, I was so mad I wanted to smash stuff.

Now, my hands are numb and stiff.

The noises won't stop.  They act like they need to have them constantly in case I hear a bad one by mistake.  They're real.  They put a machine in my room.

Problem

I got mad again.  I hit the faucet.  The noises won't stop.  I don't think the police will help.  Now my pinky is protruding to the side with my hand.

Stop, someone is doing this, and Ellen DeGeneres is acting like she did it, confusing everyone.  Ha, did you think of that?  Well, post it online.  No one cares if you thought of it.  It's wrong.

This is all because of you shitty, worthless people thinking you're worth so much.  I was trying to enjoy my life, but you're just being worthless and taking it out on me and acting like I used to do that.  Hm, I remember getting unhappy, but I really was.

Problem

My hands are ruined.

Problem

I SAID STOP ANSWER

STOP TALKING BACK I SAID LISTEN YOU FOUL MOUTH

Problem

STOP

Problem

I'm hearing noises.

I started slamming things sorta..

My dad did his laundry and then didn't do it.  He won't stop acting like I did something wrong.

Ellen DeGeneres gets mad if I think she made someone give noises in my room.  I was folding my laundry and mad my dad gave me another message.

Shower-Bath

I came back to say I'm taking a shower-bath, which can be over an hour but am more wanting to rest and stuff..

How I'm Feeling

My right ear is feeling much better.  My left ear - the pimple still hurts.  My right ear is a bit itchy, and my jaw is a bit tight but disjointed, not like a solidly connected jaw.

Problems

So, Helena Bonham Carter is a big complainer and thinks other people who complain should be hurt.

So, I need help.  At CVS, a black lady sorta was rumbling through some things and made my left boy sack feel for once like sorta pieced apart with an outline.  She acted like she could hurt me but no one else, like other people just keep going to cover, like they're hurting themselves for being mean but trying hard.  I don't believe in this.

Also, there's this boy at Orlando Ballet who looks kinda like how I pictured my son, but I am not sure if I'd really want my son to only be like that.  He was really short and seemed like a pimple but was really cute with golden brown fluffy straight smooth hair, you know, looked English.  He had the ballet so down and had so many parts, A Midsummer Night's Dream.