Problem

I JUST FOUND OUT YOU'RE ALL A PIECE OF SHIT OBSESSED OVER MY DAD FOR NO REASON JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE JEALOUS OF WHAT I HAVE AND MY MOM IS NOT TECHNICALLY ALL EUROPEAN.

Dreams

It's hard to remember my 1st dream.  Oh, yes, I thought my old choir director, Mrs. Campo, was murdered.  It was my fault, somehow, I guess because I'm indian.  So, I found her, and she was carrying me quite a lot with my hurt ankle.  It was interesting how I connected.  Before, Ellen DeGeneres was carrying me with my hurt ankle and I was thinking about being rubbed.  There was another dream where I was trying to **********.  My dad's youngest sister and little girl cousin, the aunt told me to be more comfortable in the bathroom.  When I went in the bathtub, I looked from behind the curtains and the light was on and she had come in then left.  The next dream, I was on a long long walking bridge, strong, like a dream.  I remember there were 3 boys, 1 maybe his name started with a Z.  1 was Tim Burton's son.  I talked to him, and he was really nice and cute.  He was small with dark hair.  I was with several adults.  I know Helena Bonham Carter was there, and she was taller than me by several inches and more rotund and healthy.  I got up thinking I wanted to put how her round, chubby daughter squaked as she picked her up.  After awhile, I said she was the most European person here and went up to her and maybe or probably started to put my arm around her.  I guess she was putting her arm around me and stuff for a long time, with my hurt ankle, which isn't really hurt now, and in different ways.  For some reason, I was thinking of old movies like Singing in the Rain or An American in Paris, which I thought of seeing Mary Poppins yesterday.  Eventually, she picked me up because of my ankle, for a long time.  I made a strong connection with her dad being all English and then with the rest of her race being Spanish and Jewish.  I'm not sure what was most memorable.  I guess my hurt ankle and seeing her as most European.  I did see maybe an all English blonde with slick hair, and I guess for some reason it didn't matter to me.  ***  So, I guess you can imagine how it was.  I don't remember all the details.  I guess I felt kinda knocked out a bit but nothing really bad, like I went in and wasn't afraid to process things.  Before, I think I felt a bit worn and unable to experience.  This time, I was kinda not fully developed, still.  When I was looking to see if she was murdered, it was very depressing and something I had to accept.  I was worried that it had to do with me not stopping it and causing it.  It was sorta a dark, trashy, more sharp slum area, more orangey and like with slits of other things.  The bridge was big, like an old dream, and weighted down, quite a lot, though it didn't seem to affect me as much as it could, like I was dead in a way partly.  It was a thick bridge.  We were sitting on the side.  There were like maybe 3 wires and a window with cement on the outside.  It was very strong, like a building or street, very thick, seemed so stable but uh-oh not really invincible.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was wearing a dress, which was maybe was like brownish with certain colors like orange or blue or green.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was saying "David" because her dad is all English a few times.  Also, I went in the bathroom to lock the door.  I can't even close my garage door because of a chord in the way.  I guess with the choir director we were down in a low area that was kinda yellowy-orangey-maybe gray.  I had told someone about a Cathedral that seemed good but not the best, you know 1 of 3.

Problem

If you see my dad, he's not always mean.  I guess he does his damage and then just keeps sucking up.  He thinks you have to be this and that to be approved racially, like be really careful.  He also doesn't want you to be comfortable and is antsy about when you feel in private.

Certain Racial Mixes

People who mix with the French, certain mixes, are whiners.  Even someone who is ½ Dutch is spoiled.  With the French, what I liked is all the **** people and also the brilliance of their culture.  Flat out state why you magnet the race.  It's always been people thought French and Italian was like the button rocky like black people.  They also think they're dark.  I've only seen dark and dirty Spanish people.  The blondes I've seen are fat.  Christina Aguilera is tacky and ungrateful, yet racist, a stupid Pennsylvanian, though I don't mean to really say the real Christina is stupid.

My Race

I forgot, I AM WHITE.

Your Race

I guess if I was white you'd still like me.

The Facts of Race

If Tim Burton is "on" race, he should be able to deal with it.  I guess it is a "nightmare," but I mean I guess he is onto something.  He isn't interested in the facts.

Problem

GO AWAY YOU NIGGER AND DON'T BLAME ME FOR NOT GETTING A BLOG.

Problem

See, my whole purpose in everything I do is to say I'm as white racially as I can be.

PROBLEM

So, my mom seemed to get mad at me for something that supposedly Ellen DeGeneres would agree with.  I figured the n word thing is why I don't trust her jokes.  See anyone happy around, lately?  No, there is no point.  Also, I already decided I don't want to be tacky in the 1950s.

I'm rather disturbed and overly taxed.  I thought of some violent things.  Not like realistic, which I have to not do..  I 1st got upset at Nell Burton because I also got a message from Ginny Kopf via my mom.  I'm disturbed she thinks she's so good just because she did the Disney voice since the mid-1980s.

I'm being flooded with insults, for some odd reason.  I'm tired of going through this person's BULLLSHIT.

I also got mad at Ellen DeGeneres for thinking she's something because it said that I wasn't good enough racially, which is BULLLSHIT.  She keeps thinking she's cooler, and she keeps thinking she's gooder.

Problem

I'm mad at Ginny Kopf.  She didn't add me on my new Facebook.  I think I'm going to ask her in class to add me.  I dunno, maybe I'll I'm mad.  She thinks she's whiter than me.  What should I do?  Call everyone in the class a nigger?

The new thing of Facebook is you have to be someone's friend to see what they say - I mean all they say, it just shows random things from the past, now, not sure why.  They're just having fun controlling the world and really wish they did things differently before whereas before they forced us to think they were right.

The other problem is I like to change my profile photo..  }:]

Problem

I just really don't want Ellen DeGeneres to hurt me thinking I'm a nigger for stupid stuff.  I care about my comfort a great deal.  I'm also being alluded that the attention I get is to bonk me out.

Going to Bed

I guess I'll go to bed, now.  Creepy night.  People hurting each other before they think.

Let me add, watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" every day and before talking to my grandma each night doing a Bible reading, I stayed up all day and didn't eat and just sang for YouTube.  I got off the phone, had just got my contacts, and suddenly my face wasn't as detailed.  What bothered me most was that something like that could happen to me.  I think that it's not safe in the world to enjoy things.  People just don't like that.  I don't know why we're programmed to turn off.  I am also mad that Ellen DeGeneres feels the need to get back at you thinking you did something wrong in your life just to be fair with everyone else, which I think is something that niggers do that is stupid, like me thinking that I was good to be happy about my contacts.  See, my face was like developing such acute, precise expression.  It was like something no one else did.  I mean, other people can do it if they want.  I don't really look up to niggers like that.

Problem

So, what do you think about the turnout of things with Tim Burton?  Why am I cursing about racism?

Problem

Is that my next expensive message?  NIGGER.

Ages of Places

I just found that Fort Lauderdale is the oldest, like early 1800s, then Key West had a fort as well in the mid 1800s and became the most successful place, then Miami.  I guess the early English settlers of Jamestown are the next best place to go to.  I just found Miami was found late 1800s and Key West early 1800s.  I guess Key West is interesting.  So is Fort Lauderdale.  Miami is in the middle.

I'm not sure what's so interesting about like ... I dunno like who's in on what if it's about people in Europe and people I guess in certain parts of the U.S.  I wonder what a European does in Key West.  I guess if you were from another part of the U.S. before that you would have more heritage there.  Also, very old colonies are interesting.  I think it's interesting, the English.  I know the oldest continuously and 2nd overall oldest city in the U.S. is Spanish, so I guess the mixing pots of Key West and Fort Lauderdale are of more prestige.  See, there's this movie that used to be in the wax muesum when I went back to visit.  It showed a girl drowning in a boat who was Spanish.  It makes me think of the old Spanish play.  They even had a church.  So, it seemed like Egypt or something.  It was a big, dark ocean, and she got lost.  She was so pretty.  There was another movie.  Wait this is in the vistor's center.  The other 1 in the wax museum showed a boy chosing to go through the trees and finding skeletons.

I think Ellen DeGeneres's mom probably has ancesetry in New Orleans (I already forget, it was discovered in the 1600s ... 1690.)  It seems her mom's ancestry dates back to the 1800s.  I don't see what that has to do with people from other areas of the country.  I read her father isn't from the U.S.  In the interview, he didn't have an accent.  I know the English here sometimes don't use an accent, but they know the accent.  Well, I mean, it's interesting because we're interested in that, people from out-of-the-U.S.

Problem

Let's just shovel Ellen DeGeneres out.  She's listening to my dad and said my mom was bs.  She thinks that being good in some way means you have fun and say you're crap.  She thinks it means something too that I put her name in my shit.  Well, I didn't want you to make me think my mom was a negro.  I don't want to play your game like this.  Ooh, does that tie in with some message that you think means something?

Ooh, I didn't know what to say.  Isn't that why I'm posting online?  Why are you attacking me?  You're just racist and don't deserve anything and will probably be hurt.  You'll find you made some mistake and get mad.

Problem

Just admit it, you're mean.  It's because you're racist and because of the n word thing.  You just want to prove you're something.  You think that everything has to be like some big thing that answers like every question.  Well, what question did it answer?  Some thing you did?

TV

I just watched some of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I saw a picture of a lady with a face that was melting.  I realized about living in the nation's oldest continuing city.  It is a haunting place.  Florida is, too.  My mom also is not from the U.S.  However, when you're there, it's just kinda like not much there.  It's like fixed up with like you just see like the old buildings of like benches in the schools, you know from maybe the 1600s or 1700s or maybe 1800s.  I think they had photos of old people alive who went there.  I did a camp.  I remember seeing like the old Spanish stuff, the things hanging up, the way they wash each cup.  It just seemed normal, kinda clean and tidy but maybe haunting to think of the racism.  I don't think they were pictured as tan tan like South America nor slick.  I don't know what they looked like.  I know rich people did some stuff there, but obviously it's not all over.  I know I toured it a lot, and people who visited think they have a grasp.  3 years.  I never thought of it as a ghost town.  I know some people there, but they don't talk to me, now.  The ghost tour might be cool, but in Key West it just seemed kinda normal.  I don't know, it was about people jumping from a hotel I remember and like mixed people in a grave.  There was a joke about it being bad for tourism, Diamond Dave.  He looked like the dad in My Fair Lady with a top hat.  I remember now seeing the thing about the house on the street with the doll that moved over.  Not sure when it was, but it seemed like around 1900, possibly.  I was with my little girl cousin alone, and she held my hand, though of course it didn't help enough.  That reminds me of New Orleans.  For some reason, I know a lot about that place.

Problem

Maybe because Lily Rose is black she is special.

Ellen DeGeneres literally believes her generation is certified and anything they do will be taken seriously to others, in some way.  She thinks literally that excursions are real symbols.