So, I woke up with my left ear plug out. I got rid of the wax clogging it. The clear waterproof earplugs let water in. It's harder to hear, like it's muffled. I feel a pain, not sure if it's a pimple, more on the flesh but feels like hurt from water. Sometimes, it sorta crackles and bubbles in a watery way. My jaw feels funny when it opens, but I feel kinda like a singer as a fan of Les Misérables.
Showing posts with label Les Misérables. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Les Misérables. Show all posts
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Feeling Better
Resting made me feel better. So did drying my hair. I don't feel as agitated and empty. I think seeing little kids has been a good influence on me, like the boy in Les Misérables.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Movie
I had a pretzel, which was big, and an orange juice.
Before, I got a sandwich at a healthy restaurant and a smoothie there, which was pretty plain, watery|icy.
Before, I got a sandwich at a healthy restaurant and a smoothie there, which was pretty plain, watery|icy.
Movie
Les Misérables
I went to the bathroom before and after. During, I'm pretty sure I went 4 times. I didn't miss most all of what I anticipated.
I liked how the little boy seemed so strong and seemed to exemplify the common desires of all.
I also liked how the chorus women developed.
I wonder if the women in it knew why they didn't sound like those German art songs, you know, kinda like a horn or the sorta fuzzy sound that I bet a lot of more European singers sound like, though more playful and seemingly not classical, more rebellious, though I believe now they are accepted. I heard a lady like that from Russia, have it recorded from iTunes radio. At least, I think she's Russian.
I went to the bathroom before and after. During, I'm pretty sure I went 4 times. I didn't miss most all of what I anticipated.
I liked how the little boy seemed so strong and seemed to exemplify the common desires of all.
I also liked how the chorus women developed.
I wonder if the women in it knew why they didn't sound like those German art songs, you know, kinda like a horn or the sorta fuzzy sound that I bet a lot of more European singers sound like, though more playful and seemingly not classical, more rebellious, though I believe now they are accepted. I heard a lady like that from Russia, have it recorded from iTunes radio. At least, I think she's Russian.
Problem
So, where are these messages coming from, now? What about my need to let out my anger not at one particular person on my blog? What now? Do I need to be danger aware? M. So, what, do I have to be careful around people's eyes? I've been clumsy, lately, since Les Misérables.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Ate
2 French Bread Pizzas
Beef
Italian Mixed Veggies, Leaves, My Dad Got
Giant Reese's Cup
Cold Water
No vitamins today. 3(
I want a shower but am too tired. I fell asleep thinking about school and didn't see Les Misérables but am tired, again, so soon, even before I went to eat the rest of the food.
Beef
Italian Mixed Veggies, Leaves, My Dad Got
Giant Reese's Cup
Cold Water
No vitamins today. 3(
I want a shower but am too tired. I fell asleep thinking about school and didn't see Les Misérables but am tired, again, so soon, even before I went to eat the rest of the food.
Dream
I don't remember all of it, but it was very emotional. I was lying like in a hotel bed. I had the feeling of being carried that I was imagining or having happen to me. It felt like Ellen DeGeneres was looming over me in the distance. It was like by the cooling device. I had sorta the feeling I was where I was, in my bed for real.. So, then I had the feeling my middle finger was going up, didn't realize it was my middle finger. I put my other finger or fingers over it from my other hand, and it kinda worked but didn't and the middle finger and kinda the other fingers, maybe especially my ring finger, went up again, with a very weighted pressure that was kinda fuzzy, kinda like "pins and needles." I think it really was. Then, I felt like that my other arm was doing it or something. That was awhile. I found I was lying on my side. So, that side was magically feeling the same pressure going up. It was scary, though, because I didn't know what was going on. Oh, yes, I kinda woke up just to see to make sure I could tell people later that I pretty much "saw it happen." For some reason, it was so hard to open my eyes. I thought I saw but didn't so much and closed my eyes again. I think then, kinda expectedly, I felt my whole body, like I felt when I went to the Cleveland area during the hurricane, like with all that pressure as though it had all gone up like my finger. I wasn't really believing that. I don't think that actually happened. It was so scary, though, what happened to my finger. So, then, I imagined like I guess some things happened, I went around the hotel maybe. I was on my bed and I eventually faced my pillow if not right away and I was feeling myself stimulated with where my eyes were focused or pointing. I think there was the though oh no her eyes are gonna cross. Well, it was more fuzzy and somewhat light but someone intense, like I felt before. Oh yes, I was feeling before, I guess in my sleep, realizing I met Ellen DeGeneres, like I met Tim Burton, thinking of where I used to live. Maybe, living in the New Orleans area wore off and I was excited to see her. I don't really know how I recovered. I mean what I felt like moving there, but I mean I do have memories there. I didn't really feel like I was in Florida. So, I felt like kinda with the going up in the air like I was sorta like some idea of like relief. I think before I was wondering about it. I don't believe that's what happened at the start, and obviously in time I didn't actually feel kinda like I went up in the air, then. I also had the feeling though that I really was moving funnily in my sleep, my side floating up kinda and that the look was really scary. I am pretty sure that happened to my finger because I woke up I thought and put it down and probably was more asleep when I thought my side was floating. It felt just like it did when I was awake 5 years ago, just realized it's been 5 years, except then it wasn't a pins and needles feeling. I guess it made me feel kinda like magic, like I solved life. No one's ever told me this happened to them. I thought something bad would happen, but it was like I'd go to Heaven.
What I've been doing is lying in my bed trying to feel like people are stimulating me, and I sorta wake up and worry about things like how I left the dog outside and went to lie in bed. I guess that ruined my evening, but it's something no one would care about if I let the dog in, you know? That might be scary. I wasn't too tired. I was worried about if I'd wait for a minute and let him back out or about putting the waterbowl out. I know that the dog likes it when it's cold. That's why I let him out, also so I'd be alone..
I guess it disturbs me that someone could have seen me through the experiment. Before, the experiment stopped. 1st, it was supposedly through the college. Then, I'd been in the experiment, not as a communication tool. I guess I just simply imagined what was happening. Then, it stopped, and I'd experienced what felt and was like getting other worldly sounds sensed and sorta heard in an other-worldly way that were all interesting and like words mostly, like weird, really good cartoons but not like Disney as in Mickey Mouse.., so then I came home and thought that the world still was another world. I was only here for the end of the fall and the winter. Like, people represented certain stories of other characters. It was more organized and themed, though, not something I could remember like a story and I've posted about it, in the past, I think on a blog or more than 1 blog. So, then, it finally stopped, after I went back to school and felt tortured. I think before coming home, for some reason, it still seemed magic, but the magic died and so did the noises. I didn't hear anything here. Well, I did recently, 1 noise, and I blogged it. It was when The Hobbit came out. Les Misérables just came out for Christmas, and today is Friday and I was gonna go see it. Instead, I stayed home, tired from my walks. I wanna walk again because I ran out of pizza. Anyway, so, then, the experiment stopped and I had gotten in trouble for doing bad in school it felt, though I was a good student and I was tired. I was expecting from the experiment to a high degree like endless pleasure and things I wanted organized. No one would communicate to me anything. I was always given the cold shoulder. I thought the people in public were mostly or sometimes all a part of the experiment, and it was fun to think that though I didn't like it for a lot of reasons. I couldn't interact with anyone. So, the experiment stopped, I thought, and I never was sure it was real. Then, I thought I was sure when I thought I was posting to Tim Burton. I guess I found out that they were watching me, or they were at least communicating. I kinda liked it, but I kinda would have preferred to see Tim Burton through the years. Why wasn't he like he was in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? I don't know, but I know I wasn't online, then. So, then that kinda stopped, the thinking he was posting online. So, what I'm saying is that people know if this really happened or not, I mean the moving of my dream.
What I've been doing is lying in my bed trying to feel like people are stimulating me, and I sorta wake up and worry about things like how I left the dog outside and went to lie in bed. I guess that ruined my evening, but it's something no one would care about if I let the dog in, you know? That might be scary. I wasn't too tired. I was worried about if I'd wait for a minute and let him back out or about putting the waterbowl out. I know that the dog likes it when it's cold. That's why I let him out, also so I'd be alone..
I guess it disturbs me that someone could have seen me through the experiment. Before, the experiment stopped. 1st, it was supposedly through the college. Then, I'd been in the experiment, not as a communication tool. I guess I just simply imagined what was happening. Then, it stopped, and I'd experienced what felt and was like getting other worldly sounds sensed and sorta heard in an other-worldly way that were all interesting and like words mostly, like weird, really good cartoons but not like Disney as in Mickey Mouse.., so then I came home and thought that the world still was another world. I was only here for the end of the fall and the winter. Like, people represented certain stories of other characters. It was more organized and themed, though, not something I could remember like a story and I've posted about it, in the past, I think on a blog or more than 1 blog. So, then, it finally stopped, after I went back to school and felt tortured. I think before coming home, for some reason, it still seemed magic, but the magic died and so did the noises. I didn't hear anything here. Well, I did recently, 1 noise, and I blogged it. It was when The Hobbit came out. Les Misérables just came out for Christmas, and today is Friday and I was gonna go see it. Instead, I stayed home, tired from my walks. I wanna walk again because I ran out of pizza. Anyway, so, then, the experiment stopped and I had gotten in trouble for doing bad in school it felt, though I was a good student and I was tired. I was expecting from the experiment to a high degree like endless pleasure and things I wanted organized. No one would communicate to me anything. I was always given the cold shoulder. I thought the people in public were mostly or sometimes all a part of the experiment, and it was fun to think that though I didn't like it for a lot of reasons. I couldn't interact with anyone. So, the experiment stopped, I thought, and I never was sure it was real. Then, I thought I was sure when I thought I was posting to Tim Burton. I guess I found out that they were watching me, or they were at least communicating. I kinda liked it, but I kinda would have preferred to see Tim Burton through the years. Why wasn't he like he was in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? I don't know, but I know I wasn't online, then. So, then that kinda stopped, the thinking he was posting online. So, what I'm saying is that people know if this really happened or not, I mean the moving of my dream.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Woke Up
I've forgotten my dream. I think I thought of Tony from "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" but was like I was singing on a platform. She posted a post about Les Misérables. I looked at the videos today, since my mom and brother went on vacation for about a week, and I was looking at some videos I got, including The Scarlett Pimpernel and A Star Is Born. They're thin and probably still wrapped up..
Ate:
ham cut into chunks
mashed potatos and gravy
stuffing and gravy
cole slaw
chocolate cake with chocolate icing I made and chocolate Breyer's ice cream
I couldn't finish any of it. I had 1 chocolate and part of a chocolate chip protien bar, and it slowed my digestion down. It does that if you eat them a lot I think, I guess because they're full meals. Also, already I guess my digestion wasn't like "on a roll," though it was working.
So, I suddenly turned on and was thinking all these smart things and coming up with points and matching ideas, since my mom isn't around and took my brother with her. Also, I was upset, it seemed people thought that life wasn't about me being happy around 1997 and 1998. The things that changed were all done in spite, hatred, and racism, for people like me or just me, rather.. They wanted the world to be boring. They wanted to suggest it was our fault. Hm, yea, I'm also part Jewish but think most people are or a good handful, really. I'm not like ¼ Jewish. Also, I got the idea that, just now, that maybe I'm dark like other Latinos, Italians.. Um, what else? Isn't that okay? What would that = having skin like lard? I just figured I was more German than the English and non-Italian. However, I'm not just German. I'm Anglo-Irish but more like English style but still strict in the Irish way. I mean, maybe not, but I mean I like it and the name fits|names kinda fit. So, why, all of a sudden, did the Italians and Hispanics go spastic and supposedly the French were the ones with the brains and no longer the English - hey, that's like Ellen's partner, Italian-Australian. She's, I think, around 10+ years younger. So, if she doesn't have kids to have time, why is she married? Or, does she want kids, too? Because she doesn't seem to be finding any men.. I don't know why, but I know that. I can just tell. Hm, maybe the Spanish tried to be like the Russians but think in private they're white. That's sick. I'm not gonna be with them. I'm not outspoken and like uncivilized, though. WTF is this! Why are all these niggers fantasizing that I'm like them!? Is this because of Johnny Depp? So what, if I've done like ... well, I have real excuses for being like annoyed. I also realized that I'm older now so why would I like fantasize learning with my dad at 26? I thought we'd maybe live together when I was 19. The hurricane came, and my parents didn't split. My mom was just gonna be with my brother.. He used to always hang around her. I think, when my brother was a baby, my dad stimulated him and as a toddler so did my mom. My mom set us up like we were tacky crap though because of my dad's age, though she thinks it's because of his traits. HA! I wonder if she even knows what a trait is. A physical feature or a "personality trait." Wait, why am I getting interjections from Nell Burton, the part Latino, thinking she's superior? I was who I was, and she came in and said I wasn't, like her mom feels. Tim Burton doesn't care. Also, I think Ellen is rash enough to think all my intelligence means nothing and won't admit she's actually thinking it's because I'm part Chinese. What am I supposed to do? I mean, if you were Portia, would you accept it? NO! Why get mad at me for getting upset white people get mad at me, too, like suggest I'm different in a tight way? Watch my dad fart that he's white when he "sees 'me..'" Now, it's about saying oh but you're not perverted like the bad Italians and Spanish. Also, I got the feeling that if my dad's oldest sister, who is younger, were here, she'd be nice. She's a devil! Interjecting about my mom's good qualities because my dad is related to her and not my mom and because she's not technically Caucasian. Hey, someone's stimulating me. They're watching me through a camera in private and signaling other-worldly noises. They are little clicks and squeaks that sound like, for instance, Nell Burton, but now in a born, annoying, insulting, highly ticking way. Why should you "be able" to do that? Why doesn't that click with you now? You think I'm "not white?" Well, you listen to people who aren't white. You let other people be white if they want. What now? They aren't, it is supposedly their fault, not mine. I made the best of my situation. What's wrong? I don't deserve a chance? I'm crap? My ideas are the result of crap? You don't care why? You think I'm nothing and other people being submissive is old news? I don't think we're supposed to have to be submissive. You just think that because of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. See, I'm right. You just are an angry machine pretending your bullshit seems true. You didn't listen to me, and now you're CRAP to me! See, you're gonna say that's not true, again, because maybe I'm not really "that 'white.'" You don't even know what that means. You think I'm not in tune with nature and am beastly. You're gonna explode if you're worried about how I mean by the word "beastly" like I would also say all the right words, like I grew up in a perfect environment. So, what? Do I deserve to post on my blog without being made fun of? Why do you wait for me to say stuff that no one else says and assume I did it too late in time and that it's all the result of crap but with other people it's something that gets time spent on? I don't think you're white. Why do you think I have to have the flaws that you have, like it's unfair? You think people come from a gene pool of Heaven or Hell? Why are you able to affect me? You have some program on where you fall over when I don't agree? If you're not perfect, then you're not, like if you don't know everything, they we both don't know everything, get it? I didn't get that to click with how I wrote that, but you know how that goes. Funny, supposedly, if my mom were older I'd have more European traits, but I wouldn't be divine.
Ate:
ham cut into chunks
mashed potatos and gravy
stuffing and gravy
cole slaw
chocolate cake with chocolate icing I made and chocolate Breyer's ice cream
I couldn't finish any of it. I had 1 chocolate and part of a chocolate chip protien bar, and it slowed my digestion down. It does that if you eat them a lot I think, I guess because they're full meals. Also, already I guess my digestion wasn't like "on a roll," though it was working.
So, I suddenly turned on and was thinking all these smart things and coming up with points and matching ideas, since my mom isn't around and took my brother with her. Also, I was upset, it seemed people thought that life wasn't about me being happy around 1997 and 1998. The things that changed were all done in spite, hatred, and racism, for people like me or just me, rather.. They wanted the world to be boring. They wanted to suggest it was our fault. Hm, yea, I'm also part Jewish but think most people are or a good handful, really. I'm not like ¼ Jewish. Also, I got the idea that, just now, that maybe I'm dark like other Latinos, Italians.. Um, what else? Isn't that okay? What would that = having skin like lard? I just figured I was more German than the English and non-Italian. However, I'm not just German. I'm Anglo-Irish but more like English style but still strict in the Irish way. I mean, maybe not, but I mean I like it and the name fits|names kinda fit. So, why, all of a sudden, did the Italians and Hispanics go spastic and supposedly the French were the ones with the brains and no longer the English - hey, that's like Ellen's partner, Italian-Australian. She's, I think, around 10+ years younger. So, if she doesn't have kids to have time, why is she married? Or, does she want kids, too? Because she doesn't seem to be finding any men.. I don't know why, but I know that. I can just tell. Hm, maybe the Spanish tried to be like the Russians but think in private they're white. That's sick. I'm not gonna be with them. I'm not outspoken and like uncivilized, though. WTF is this! Why are all these niggers fantasizing that I'm like them!? Is this because of Johnny Depp? So what, if I've done like ... well, I have real excuses for being like annoyed. I also realized that I'm older now so why would I like fantasize learning with my dad at 26? I thought we'd maybe live together when I was 19. The hurricane came, and my parents didn't split. My mom was just gonna be with my brother.. He used to always hang around her. I think, when my brother was a baby, my dad stimulated him and as a toddler so did my mom. My mom set us up like we were tacky crap though because of my dad's age, though she thinks it's because of his traits. HA! I wonder if she even knows what a trait is. A physical feature or a "personality trait." Wait, why am I getting interjections from Nell Burton, the part Latino, thinking she's superior? I was who I was, and she came in and said I wasn't, like her mom feels. Tim Burton doesn't care. Also, I think Ellen is rash enough to think all my intelligence means nothing and won't admit she's actually thinking it's because I'm part Chinese. What am I supposed to do? I mean, if you were Portia, would you accept it? NO! Why get mad at me for getting upset white people get mad at me, too, like suggest I'm different in a tight way? Watch my dad fart that he's white when he "sees 'me..'" Now, it's about saying oh but you're not perverted like the bad Italians and Spanish. Also, I got the feeling that if my dad's oldest sister, who is younger, were here, she'd be nice. She's a devil! Interjecting about my mom's good qualities because my dad is related to her and not my mom and because she's not technically Caucasian. Hey, someone's stimulating me. They're watching me through a camera in private and signaling other-worldly noises. They are little clicks and squeaks that sound like, for instance, Nell Burton, but now in a born, annoying, insulting, highly ticking way. Why should you "be able" to do that? Why doesn't that click with you now? You think I'm "not white?" Well, you listen to people who aren't white. You let other people be white if they want. What now? They aren't, it is supposedly their fault, not mine. I made the best of my situation. What's wrong? I don't deserve a chance? I'm crap? My ideas are the result of crap? You don't care why? You think I'm nothing and other people being submissive is old news? I don't think we're supposed to have to be submissive. You just think that because of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. See, I'm right. You just are an angry machine pretending your bullshit seems true. You didn't listen to me, and now you're CRAP to me! See, you're gonna say that's not true, again, because maybe I'm not really "that 'white.'" You don't even know what that means. You think I'm not in tune with nature and am beastly. You're gonna explode if you're worried about how I mean by the word "beastly" like I would also say all the right words, like I grew up in a perfect environment. So, what? Do I deserve to post on my blog without being made fun of? Why do you wait for me to say stuff that no one else says and assume I did it too late in time and that it's all the result of crap but with other people it's something that gets time spent on? I don't think you're white. Why do you think I have to have the flaws that you have, like it's unfair? You think people come from a gene pool of Heaven or Hell? Why are you able to affect me? You have some program on where you fall over when I don't agree? If you're not perfect, then you're not, like if you don't know everything, they we both don't know everything, get it? I didn't get that to click with how I wrote that, but you know how that goes. Funny, supposedly, if my mom were older I'd have more European traits, but I wouldn't be divine.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Hollywood Today
What do you think of Tim Burton not directing Les Misérables? He probably would just doesn't want to because he thinks he can ditch me for the n word thing because he's not strong and was involved, like Ellen DeGeneres is weak around people older than her in relation to what younger people do. She's submissive and wants pleasure from them. When she was younger, she probably wasn't open to ever getting it. Now, is the time. What, you think I'm speaking nasally? Anyway, it looks funny, now, like if Tim does something it'll be offensive. It's a fact, I didn't say I'd *beep* him, literally, and who would, anyway? What's the joke hinted in the song that guy sings, "head on a silver plate?" That sounds like him. He seems embarrassed. I mean, think of the suggestion. I know he's popular with young people because he's white. Supposedly, people who are white deserve what they have and more. People who are like me don't deserve what they have, people think, the idea that they've accomplished deserving to be acknowledged, like that they are right. Would you listen to Ellen DeGeneres? She just wasn't involved. She's famous with interests like him. He's a good guy. I don't really know why he got worse and worse. It seems like because you aren't submitting to some decision now for some reason and you're not famous but people are hurting your opportunity. So, what do you think about Ellen DeGeneres ^weakly^ "not finding her opinion" because of what I already stated. You know what I'm talking about. Also, do you believe in the mistakes of the past as being valid forebearers of the future, like we're waiting for someone white to cough it up before other people can live? Did I just hear a gun blast a bomb up in the air? You weren't supposed to be doing this, like all this stuff, including the point in mind of focusing due energy on being racist to singled out individuals.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)