I have the most amazing story to tell.

Though my mood is still rather unstable, I was in the tub and was able to feel stimulated at points, as I usually do, but more "on target," so-to-speak.  It felt like in the New Orleans area and summer 2005 when my life had become like an experiment and then supposedly had been, like my whole life and then I had a different mom etc.  So, yea, then I got in bed and that's when I felt like that.  You know, you think of something and then you kinda feel it but you don't feel like that's really you and you're mad it's not you but at the same time don't want to do it.  So, I was in bed and felt all these feelings kinda of "being stimulated."  I was amazed at feeling like I was a kid with sorta medium-large crinkled curls and then like I was a tween or teen or preteen.  Finally, I imagined I was born around 1960 and went through different dimensions but in the end, thinking about being white, just sorta felt "responsible," like responsible for others.  I even didn't mind if my "dad did it."  I think he threw me 1 for safekeeping, while my mom and brother are gone.  Well, I just heard him, yesterday.  Oh, and, for some reason, I've been stimulating myself but feeling it more smoother, at least not that sorta perverted feeling like I'm being tortured and can't control it, which really cuts through and addicts you and makes you just want.