Cancelled

I was supposed to see Les Misérables today.

Need to Rest

I need to lie down.  I may leave the computer on.  Not sure how I will go to the bathroom.  I just have to be careful.  What about in public?  I mean the water will even go through the waterproof bandaid.  It's a big wound.

Problem

Why do I look like I'm covered in infested white stuff?  What is that, an egg?  Before, it was yellow shell wrapping.  I used to be into the shit of my dad.  Why is this happening now?  I mean, I've been trying to rest at home.

Problem

Stop sending me hateful messages.  I wonder why people would know all about me.  What am I gonna do about that going around?  I got the idea I had a daughter emitting some disgusting infested white stuff that made her whole, little body.

Problem

You're not supposed to tie me with my dad in ways I don't want to be tied and shouldn't be doing it, at all.

Problem

Why are you saying I don't deserve people to be nice to me behind closed doors?  I wanted to go to bed, but now I'm cut.  How will I use the bathroom?  Stop kidding around and leave me alone.  I'm not a nigger.  I TOLD YOU TO STOP.  YOU DIDN'T STOP.  STOP BEING STUPID.  You can't get mad.

Something Interesting

Disney is opening more to Fantasyland.  Expanding.  2014.

Problem

So, my dad supposedly is very kind, but then he just switches and I find him mean and uncaring later.  Like, I guess something like my face doesn't have a long, slim nose and I'm hun-gry and wouldn't mind gourmet, restaurant food.  Or I guess like me thinking I can do good in school, something as weird as that.  He seems to have pretty much left off with a plan.  I mean, why doesn't he leave me alone?  Don't you see this makes no sense?  He should just leave me alone.  I'm just here getting better.  I don't engage in pestering him.

Problem

I just want people to frickin stop making me uncomfortable for being in an experiment or lockdown.  I thought it was like a romance with a boy or something.

Problem

My dad seems to keep doing things to hurt me in ways like hypnotizing me or adjusting my situation or leaving a suggestive message to like only me just because I feel bad and it keeps getting worse.  Like, if I say something it means something, really..  Like, I'll find out later or find that everyone is concerned over nothing.

Problem

Why do people just keep making up stuff that I should be hurt after something happens?  I mean, it fits in sometimes, but I am guessing that it's jut a racial tool.  It seems that things are just messed up.

Footage of My Injured Hands

YouTube
Flickr

Plus, there's a card of a woman who looks like she thinks she's black like Ellen DeGeneres, like the Italians in history or more recent that look like Tim Burton but don't say so much that he is Italian.

Unraveling

My left hand, the fingers that were like felt almost like caking together in a through the air sense are unraveling like dead hands.  They've felt dead before and hurt.

Aw

I just saw a yellow wisp like a surreal ghost, which I've seen, leave the right side of my body on the top.

The people in Orlando are shit.  They messed with me.  The other side.  That side is my girls side.  Hm, it feels like a bed with a ghost.  I feel a pillow.  Someone is punching it with round, white fists..

Problem

Why totally torture me and put me in situations just when you're gonna call me a nigger for my race?  Don't discredit my mom's 500 years of Dutch heritage just because you're jealous and you think I'm shit.

Damage

My bone under my pinky is sticking out.

Feeling Better

My right hand isn't as wide.  My left feels like the sports coaches at my 1st high school, the public 1, at a sports school, because that's where we lived, where they were gonna build a health center and where the only Catholic school was.

The Ghost

It was kinda wispy, like rippled.  I just got a hair straightener.  There was 1 with light pink and 1 with a darker pink.  They were thin and cheap.  I am saving our money.  My dad only gives me $20 at a time, now, and my mom doesn't give me $100 a month.  They stopped when I bought like a bunch of ballet videos cause I had none, you know maybe 3 and some books etc., supplies maybe.  I was totally like feeling so bad, and it wasn't a mental disorder|etc.  Like insane..  Maybe I just felt bad about doing bad in school, but over the summer I mean it was possible.  I guess it was that I was incapable of lectures and reading history, which is longer than what you read in high school or what I read in honors non-"advanced placement," not sure about other classes, probably the same there.

Problem

Stop hurting me for things I did.  What did I do?  I didn't hurt anyone.

Aw

I just saw a yellow wisp like a surreal ghost, which I've seen, leave the right side of my body on the top.

The people in Orlando are shit.  They messed with me.  The other side.  That side is my girls side.  Hm, it feels like a bed with a ghost.  I feel a pillow.  Someone is punching it with round, white fists..