How I'm Feeling

I seem to have had a bad day, was at school all day.  I found out how to get back in the voice class.  I guess I have to go back, tomorrow.  I want to go shopping for clothes for theater, like shorts and shirts, though today it was strangely cold.  I liked my long socks, but I need shoes for Improvisation.  It's just that I'd be there all day tomorrow, but I need to get it done ASAP and the transportation wasn't answering.  I mean, I'll just sleep with my umbrella.  I'm tired now but not going to bed just yet, today, probably should eat something!

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Shower-Bathed

 I can pump on my broken ankle.

Problem

I JUST FOUND OUT YOU'RE ALL A PIECE OF SHIT OBSESSED OVER MY DAD FOR NO REASON JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE JEALOUS OF WHAT I HAVE AND MY MOM IS NOT TECHNICALLY ALL EUROPEAN.

Problem

I'm trying to concentrate in private and have homework in theater and may have a hard time hobbling around school printing it out..  I also have to involve another person!  I would never do that.  Anyway, people are like bothering me in private sending me suggestive messages, really, and it seems to sorta make me tired.  Like, the technology does funny things, and people are interested.  It's true, though I know it doesn't seem like it.

Problem

I'm getting more bs that kids want me to prove that if I were in their shoes I'd get mad and blame someone for something in real life even if I found out ... "they didn't 'do it.'"

Wow, Ginny Kopf, is this what you do on the weekend?  How am I supposed to do your homework if I broke my ankle?

Problem

So, what, are these annoying whiny insults coming from Ginny Kopf talking to my parents or is it someone else?

Problem

Yesterday, when I got back the 1st time, there was a fat lady with a skinny head in front, fluffy dyed hair.  She was tilting her head sarcastically because I don't think I should tell people I missed "Supercalifragilisticexpalidocious."  You know, every time.  I could hear it loud and clear from the stalls.  It had just ended, so I saw them lined up.  I was annoyed because there's no way I could sit there and not have an insulting thought come to my mind hit hard.  It's just what happens.  I really don't want to do that, remember???  So, she tilted her head and made me think of my mom's nose being stupidly smooth like a slide like a triangle!  Oh no, that's not okay.  I be that thought is floating above her head.  And then, her neck popped and I think it still freaks my mom out.  I felt my mom doing something with her nose, too, and I'm not sure what happened now.  It doesn't seem okay, to me.  The problem is she's so sorry for other people and thinks you should make a big deal out of stuff like this, when it's not really what you're supposed to pay attention to.  I don't want to say this every time much less have to remember nor that I will.  I won't.  I mean, that's that.  You won't say it every time you list what plays or musicals you've seen.

At the Show, Yesterday

Actually, the 1st time I got up was to put water in my left eye after "Feed the Birds."  I thought it would be good if I were in that section.  When we clapped, for some reason I clapped louder when she came out.

My Hurt

It doesn't hurt, but I can't stand on 2 feet. It bends much better.  I had a nice, light Chinese food and slept for like 6 and 14 hours.  I was planning on sleeping, anyway, but this is good.  At least, I don't feel as agitated about that theater segment.

Problem

All my problems are that people are being mean to me like killing me and boring in hatred for what other bad kids suffered as unforgivingness from older people, and these people are not suffering for it.  Them being shitty does not equal mistreatment, anyone knows.

Dreams

It's hard to remember my 1st dream.  Oh, yes, I thought my old choir director, Mrs. Campo, was murdered.  It was my fault, somehow, I guess because I'm indian.  So, I found her, and she was carrying me quite a lot with my hurt ankle.  It was interesting how I connected.  Before, Ellen DeGeneres was carrying me with my hurt ankle and I was thinking about being rubbed.  There was another dream where I was trying to **********.  My dad's youngest sister and little girl cousin, the aunt told me to be more comfortable in the bathroom.  When I went in the bathtub, I looked from behind the curtains and the light was on and she had come in then left.  The next dream, I was on a long long walking bridge, strong, like a dream.  I remember there were 3 boys, 1 maybe his name started with a Z.  1 was Tim Burton's son.  I talked to him, and he was really nice and cute.  He was small with dark hair.  I was with several adults.  I know Helena Bonham Carter was there, and she was taller than me by several inches and more rotund and healthy.  I got up thinking I wanted to put how her round, chubby daughter squaked as she picked her up.  After awhile, I said she was the most European person here and went up to her and maybe or probably started to put my arm around her.  I guess she was putting her arm around me and stuff for a long time, with my hurt ankle, which isn't really hurt now, and in different ways.  For some reason, I was thinking of old movies like Singing in the Rain or An American in Paris, which I thought of seeing Mary Poppins yesterday.  Eventually, she picked me up because of my ankle, for a long time.  I made a strong connection with her dad being all English and then with the rest of her race being Spanish and Jewish.  I'm not sure what was most memorable.  I guess my hurt ankle and seeing her as most European.  I did see maybe an all English blonde with slick hair, and I guess for some reason it didn't matter to me.  ***  So, I guess you can imagine how it was.  I don't remember all the details.  I guess I felt kinda knocked out a bit but nothing really bad, like I went in and wasn't afraid to process things.  Before, I think I felt a bit worn and unable to experience.  This time, I was kinda not fully developed, still.  When I was looking to see if she was murdered, it was very depressing and something I had to accept.  I was worried that it had to do with me not stopping it and causing it.  It was sorta a dark, trashy, more sharp slum area, more orangey and like with slits of other things.  The bridge was big, like an old dream, and weighted down, quite a lot, though it didn't seem to affect me as much as it could, like I was dead in a way partly.  It was a thick bridge.  We were sitting on the side.  There were like maybe 3 wires and a window with cement on the outside.  It was very strong, like a building or street, very thick, seemed so stable but uh-oh not really invincible.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was wearing a dress, which was maybe was like brownish with certain colors like orange or blue or green.  So, Helena Bonham Carter was saying "David" because her dad is all English a few times.  Also, I went in the bathroom to lock the door.  I can't even close my garage door because of a chord in the way.  I guess with the choir director we were down in a low area that was kinda yellowy-orangey-maybe gray.  I had told someone about a Cathedral that seemed good but not the best, you know 1 of 3.

Family Sides

I just realized my dad's side of the family has always acted like they hate me for their side, maybe because his sisters are younger, and my mom doesn't like try to make me unsuccessful because of it.

Back

I watched Mary Poppins and am back but tired and dirty.  I had a jumbo hot dog for $7, but it's not like a long hot dog.  I also had a triple fudge brownie which tasted like candy and even like a nut, like chocolate sorta cool, light tan nut, for $3.50.

So, I got up and came back at the end of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (didn't have to look up the spelling.)  I had to go to the bathroom.  Then, I think I left again to change my female thing.  I had already come in late from eating.  I tripped and almost broke or did something like stretched my ankle on the dark, thin stairs, to the last row.  I was pretty fine.  I had to limp but not always.  I went back to the bathroom and changed my female thing with my mom, who didn't want to go back though we had to sit down.  The 2nd time I came back they were doing "It's a Jolly Holiday With Mary," apparently an ending.  The 2nd time we got back had another coincidence.  There was maybe some coincidence.  I know once I moved and I knew what the man, a fat man, was gonna say, and I think he knew I'd knew ... I mean I moved just like the word he was about to say and it seemed I made the move before he did.  It sounded the same.  So, I walked well back.  Then, we left after the bows quickly.  I saw a girl wearing hot pink and black stripes and tripped on my other ankle from a curb, which I've often hit, especially at church.  It hurt a little, but I was fine walking on both legs.  However, I accidentally hit another curb and had to start limping.  I came home and fell asleep.  My ankle started to hurt so much.  Now I have to hop on 1 foot.

I had a creepy dream.  There was 1 where I was hanging around trying to get in maybe Ballet I and Voice.  Finally, I saw Ellen DeGeneres, and she was tall and put, vaguely, her arm around me.  She looked like me, her chest.  I wasn't having fun hopping, so she picked me up and I kept piling higher and I later realized maybe she was kissing my foot.  I had another creepy dream but forget.

I thought of going to the ER, but I really don't think they'd do anything to me.  If anyone knows, let me know.  It feels like it won't go dead forever.  I mean, yea, I might get tired waiting at the hospital.  They might give me medidince but shouldn't be too bad, though it may affect me adversely enough, as it has.  It seems it will take a few days or week.  I guess I will just hop around.  I have a cane from home.  It might be too much money to get crutches.  I guess not, but I'm not sure where my dad'd get them.  I wanted a wheelchair, but it seems crutches work.  My ankle is stiff.  Too bad they don't come to your house.  I guess they'd want an X-Ray, though I don't think I broke a bone.  Anyone have any idea of what's going on?

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Going to Bed

Problem

If you see my dad, he's not always mean.  I guess he does his damage and then just keeps sucking up.  He thinks you have to be this and that to be approved racially, like be really careful.  He also doesn't want you to be comfortable and is antsy about when you feel in private.

Problem

I just thought of putting a thick dagger in my mom.

ANNOYED

I had my dad's chord mouse for like a month.  He just didn't get me a mouse again before..  He was gonna let me use his gym bag.  Now, it seems he gave me his alarm clock.  There are other useless, insulting messages attached.  I just don't have the sexual interest in him like that.  I don't think he's good enough for me in that way.

Problem

Stop being mean to me when I make a statement, doing it more.

STOP JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME MAD.  YOU DON'T EVEN CARE IF I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.  MAYBE YOU CAN'T REMEMBER THAT.  DON'T GET ME TO JUST USE BAD WORDS.

Problem

How will Ellen DeGeneres get anywhere just always sucking up to not get in trouble for who she is, even though she isn't bad?  BAD NEWS?  ELLEN DEGENERES ISN'T BAD.

Facebook Profile Photo

I edited my Facebook profile photo.

Facebook

Facebook

I put my old Facebook up.

Certain Racial Mixes

People who mix with the French, certain mixes, are whiners.  Even someone who is ½ Dutch is spoiled.  With the French, what I liked is all the **** people and also the brilliance of their culture.  Flat out state why you magnet the race.  It's always been people thought French and Italian was like the button rocky like black people.  They also think they're dark.  I've only seen dark and dirty Spanish people.  The blondes I've seen are fat.  Christina Aguilera is tacky and ungrateful, yet racist, a stupid Pennsylvanian, though I don't mean to really say the real Christina is stupid.

Problem

So, why are we sitting here doing stupid things, like imagining people doing things we don't like, even if we imagined them before?  Hm.

Problem

Stop testing what I do and threatening people because of what I do.

My Race

I forgot, I AM WHITE.

Your Race

I guess if I was white you'd still like me.

Distrust

Why should I trust you?  You wouldn't go around being mean to some little white girl just in case you are mean by accident.  I don't like people acting like they have control over me.  However, sometimes, I think it's funny if I'm mature.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I just tried to stimulate myself, worried something might happen, but it didn't.  '8D

Success Stories

If I can't succeed because of my race, who can?  I tried.

I Wonder Wonder Wonder ---

I wonder about people who think they're whiter and more attractive but who don't do it but think they flat out of you?

Facebook Post

Ginny Kopf

So, nice class|es, Ginny..  I was thinking it'd be nice to go on a field trip to either Saint Augustine (the nation's oldest continuing city in Northeastern Florida) or Key West.  I was gonna do cross country in college, and we were gonna go to Disney 1st.

At Disney World, history teachers and everyone claim to want to go to see the countries at Epcot.

In Saint Augustine, I know it's a nice place to hang around.  I might take organ in the summer, and I'm sure, since I lived there 9-12 and was an accompanist sorta prodigy, they'd love to have me do something.  The choir that used to be there for kids did caroling outside and at the Cross and Sword Amplitheatre, and there's a concert hall by a rich man's stuff..

Maybe, Key West.  I was thinking any place that someone is from would be of interest.  I just know that I like going back to Saint Augustine.  In Florida, I mean, what, most people who go to Fort Lauderdale don't make it.

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So, I wonder if we're gonna see any plays.  I don't know about that.  Valencia probably has a performance class.  I didn't particularly notice it, but I don't think I could do it.

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Well, we might have a visiting play.  I saw an ad for Mary Poppins.  She has a pretty voice.

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Anyway, I just kinda wonder like that a theater or history class would have the teacher take the kids to Saint Augustine if they live in Florida.

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So, I realize that Ginny is from San Fransisco.  I have some or maybe a lot compared to anyone else other than people from there or mothers from there, too, culture from Pennsylvania, northwestern, near other places in the Midwest..  However, my family moved to and I think 1 ancestor is from Southwestern New York state..

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I think that it would be fun if anyone would want to go on a ghost tour with me?  I mean, I'm sure it'd be worth it.  I did go on the Key West ghost tour.  I'm sure we wouldn't want go to Miami.  I lived in Altamonte Springs, and I remember thinking about Miami..

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I don't really understand the fascination with the "Circ de Soleil."  What about Disney World getting back its parade and working on Fantasyland expansion?..that should be really cool.

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I don't seriously mean like I want the class to go somewhere I used to live for me.  I'm just putting it out there that it's something that a class would go to and that classes do go on field trips.  I think I almost went on a trip there.  I had a lot of fun with my best friend from New Jersey.  I have 3 best friends: Boston, New Jersey, San Fransisco.  However, we weren't like knit together.  I mean, I've had friends before.  I also met a girl from L.A. who was in the other 6th grade, and then I moved.  I'm guessing that got me into Tim Burton.  The funny thing is the girl from New Jersey went to Disney more than once a year for more than 1 day.  The girl from San Fransisco worked there with the Disney College program, twice, I think.  She was a janitorial staff, there.  They told me that we could do puppets if we got in, like for The Little Mermaid.  Finding Nemo is cool but doesn't have music...

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I'll probably see Les Misérables myself more.  I guess I have to wait and see myself sing "Master of the House," again.

Problem

I think there's a vent or heater in my room that's talking all the time, now.

Problem

Look, stop making all the attention I get be about associating bad things with things that are important to me to do with other people.

Edit

I added a description.

Mobile

I'm going mobile tonight.

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New Set Photos. 3I

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New Set Photo

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nu photos of me! 3D

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Sorry I'm making another post but just want to say hope Ginny made it home safely. Did everyone at Seminole and Valencia have good classes? I hope the weekend will refresh me. I had a therapist appointment Wednesday and slept all day and took a walk. We talked about something that bothered me in class. I don't want appointments on Fridays and probably not on the weekend. So, I go to school in the morning and take Weight Training and was gonna do homework and take a walk around during the day. I did tennis growing up and tried to get into that when weight training was canceled for the week, but I found it was too late to register. I had planned on doing it in the summer and wanted weight training this semester but lost interest when I thought about playing tennis, instead. I'm not sure if weight training is harder than the 2 hour health class, but I really wanted weight training. It's like ropes, jogging, and weight machines. I used to do a weight class, but I feel I got more a workout with the college machines. I'm not even sure how we're all gonna fit. I guess this would be good if I took ballet 1. So, what are you doing in the summer, guys? I want to do organ but only know of 1 thing I have prepared. I guess I threw the rest away, but with organ usually they never expect much because people start it maybe from piano or singing at 15. That's when a lot of singers start, around 17, but maybe it's just me. So, yes, like before and more, I think about my classes. So, I mean, playing a musical instrument is good and you know if you like music or know classical music. Church is old-fashioned. I know I could play for a mass because I can sight read supposedly for my level well and can easily add chords on piano fluidly, "like milk." I saw an organ at a Jewish temple. So, this class is very successful. It's a social class. I'm getting used to being around people. It's very friendly. It's not perfect.

Thank you for letting me post here. I'm upset that I'm the only one. I hope it's okay, I didn't make these posts 3 days in a row. The last 1 was asking an important question about class. The 1st was a long time ago, and this seems to be the general 1st week of class post.

Problem

Should we have listened to the flawed logic of the people in Florida?

Parents All-Knowing

What about parents who aren't in tune with morals but are about "what" they did and how they don't get along with their mothers?

The Facts of Race

If Tim Burton is "on" race, he should be able to deal with it.  I guess it is a "nightmare," but I mean I guess he is onto something.  He isn't interested in the facts.

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I took the comment option off the Labels Page.

Facebook Post

So, now, I'm just wondering about wearing nail polish because I grew up finding it embarrassing and I guess nasty. I thought it was unnatural. I'm kinda like zonked into worshipping it. See, I didn't ever grow up with long nails but sometimes just had like barely any white but didn't have like pink skin or something.. I know black kids like to wear nail polish and adults. I don't know why. I just saw Chloë Grace Moretz wearing it and changing it maybe every week or something. I saw Johnny Depp's former wife or girlfriend had short nails and I noticed mine were getting shorter because I had gotten fatter in the past. All else I can figure is that in the future nail polish will just be "some thing," and, yes, we'll have to answer for the truth to our actions and risks and go through with the answer. I know in school we weren't supposed to wear nail polish. I used to cut my nails shorter because I felt made fun of for having tan skin and pink nails. I guess the reason I wear nail polish is because my ring finger nail is shorter so I mean it looks okay. Also, my fingers are still developing and are pretty ugly from being a pianist. I always thought I had attractive hands and found no reason to grow my nails though no they weren't too short.

So, I was just wondering if it was appropriate for actors at a community college to wear nail polish. I'll just answer my own question. I'm just putting it out there. I decided that I'd wear fake nails if I became a model or something. ... I did notice Lily Rose Melody Depp, when she came to L.A. as a pretween had like pink at the base of her nails.. I had so many problems that my nails, it seemed like at my thumbs the white was too much. Also, when I came back from a month at Lakeside, my nails looked like they were falling off. I had been in my room all the time for 3 years, I think. I was posting online or maybe sitting there thinking about the internet.. I know that people in Orlando were really mean to me until they knew that a "popular" person liked me and could test them because of his race or maybe how smart or strong his dad was. So, I can conclude that no one has perfect parents because they can't seem to get mad at mine. It's an issue with race with my mom but with no success and with my dad how like if say my mom were white he wouldn't be as attractive as her. I'm already in trouble at my birth! I just won't play games. The other important thing is that you don't dress up like appropriate for an actor because the things aren't available and nail polish seems to match or maybe someday I'll regret this. It was actually so that my longer nails would look better compared with the base and because I don't believe in living in fake nails. A lot of people believe in clear nail polish. I also believe that ... okay, when I did piano I had short nails and I was a different person. If we wear nail polish, people who have short nails have an option. Why not match your clothes if not wear light pink? I guess all I can say is that it looks better. It's because people do go around in the world and wear it.

Sorry, my post was so long, but I just thought it was an important issue I've gone through. I mean, if it's okay, I don't really want anything hanging in the air. I just answered my own question, but sorry it was so long and not all about theater, technically. I was just worried about the rules. I also was thinking that this isn't really about film acting, but maybe theater is. I guess in some cases far away you wear light pink nail polish or on film maybe even fake nails, though all fake nails have big square tips. I had been thinking a lot that actors should wear nail polish and then they take it off when they do the performance. Maybe, it's because it's more work, like a dancer not wearing a tutu to train. All I can also say is that day to day wearing no nail polish is probably good and that well sometimes I don't really not wear nail polish, but sometimes I don't get enough relaxation. For some reason, dancers seem to look better without nail polish. I guess it's just I've lived a long life, and I didn't wear nail polish. I know I'd wear nail polish to gymnastics or to a sport, but I don't do sports. However, in dance I wouldn't have any whites to my nails. I used to always keep them with no whites. So, yes, sorry my post was so long, but I just wanted to address an issue, could have said I posted it in my blog, but I guess you can click to read more on Facebook. So, I was just worried about the rules and answered my own question. Thanks! Have a nice class, speakers at Seminole and actors at Valencia.

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This post failed.

My last post failed...  I ran into the teacher in the bathroom twice and stepped like Hungarian Rhapsody, Bugs Bunny on piano ... I'm pretty sure.  Lso, my hair glowed with the Fructis curl scrunching gel.

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Problem

I feel like I'm m**********.  I think I felt like I had to hit myself for being happy about the teacher.  3D

Problem

Why do you think it's my dream to be punished?

New Posts! 3D

I just added some failed posts.

1st Class

As I walked around Orlando, though I hadn't slept, I kept thinking of the kids in the class like eventually the entire time and laughing at my day's adventures.  I wasn't so much thinking of how pretty I was.. nor about how the teacher looked..  So, when I got in the bath, I thought of what I thought of the teacher and probably other things I don't really remember.  But I was tired and got into bed.  I fell asleep right away, avoided thinking about her, and woke up, finally got out of bed after maybe over 12 hours.  Too bad I was partly awake a lot of that time.  Now, I have to call for transportation!  I thought it was 24 hours but guess it's 1 day.

Dream

I know what came up that I didn't have to think of was like seeing police on the side of the road.  In the end, I came up to a bookshop with a short, very fat lady, guess it reminds me of the state of health I was in when I moved here.  She told me never to go to this like gated off section of children's books.  Instead, I looked for another section she said I could look at facing the front in the back with adolescent books, which looked remotely interesting.  I saw a clever picture with a big bear but then 4 smiling like dogs that looked more like people, which were a bit smaller.  I think I was hiding.  I had  gotten out of my house.  I was mad I switched bodies with my cousin, though it was not a concrete idea.  She had a milky white body with like maybe bluish hair, and I was small and brown with brown eyes.  Her eyes are gold, like my aunt's husband's son's.  So, I had a sorta dreamy, surreal feeling and went outside and was worried about the police.  I was on a bed, maybe before, on the side, like a big, maybe white quilted bed.  In the end, I think I was walking.  Also, in my dream, I believe were family and extended family, like grandma maybe, maybe both aunts.  I wish I could remember before.  It felt like I was in a place where I could buy stuff.  There was a lot before.  I mainly remember a big segment, too, where I was in my cousin's body.  I felt like myself doing something else, like a Russian doll.  I was in a big, empty, sorta maybe house with a bluish tint, kinda like a haunted, gray dusty place, on the floor, feeling kinda weird.  There was a like tall kitchen counter where you could sit at like on a bar stool.  There was a place on the side and probably a big window covered with a plastic curtain.  There was a big kitchen.  I guess the arrangement mocked that of where I lived in the oldest continuing city.  I guess the bedrooms were in the same place, and the living room was behind us.  The neighborhood was similar.  We did live by a used bookstore.  I remember once I saw a book with a cat carrying a tiny cat who maybe was just waking up or opening its eyes.  It was so cute.  I was so upset I couldn't get my body back and progress, but my cousin was happy.

More

I told the blonde to do a backwards summersault. I had gotten an Oreo crumbly, the only shake.

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My Day

I got on a block and jumped in a crevice with a chair and escaped a tall, I think blonde boy.  The blonde grabbed me!  3D

My Day So Far

I went to tennis. Health, 2 hours, with exercise, is full. A big, bright-haired theatre girl from Chicago was in the car, and I talked the whole time, had class with Ginny. Got $50 of supplies. Phone running out some..

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Problem

I'm feeling stressed with my ear hurting, but I guess eventually this pain will also go away.  The n word thing made my life so uncomfortable....  Before, I wasn't getting the right food, didn't like being around my parents.  :|

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Forum

Problem

I guess my dad didn't fix my TV, have to text him again as the reminder.

Problem

Do you have any idea why I'm always mad and why I've been rushed?  I mean I had a good excursion walking outside, just wish I could postpone the trip to college, now, probably will sleep on a bench.  Also, my room smells dusty.

Problem

Now, my left eye|s are getting blurry because of my ear and the stress.  It's like having a headache with the stress, but the inside of my head doesn't ache.

Also, I need a gym bag so maybe may not work out today.  I'm not really looking forward to staying around all day today.  I might have to go back Wednesday with money for books.  I don't have a lunch bag but want the cancer 1 at Publix, though for some reason I don't think my dad got it if he was there.  My food is not perfect because my dad went to Costco.  I feel like I can't sense my environment and am a bit bewildered at my eyes.  I'm tired and guess I won't get much sleep, have to dry my hair and then I guess just pack up my makeup and go.

What I'm Doing

My nail polish is drying.

Problem

I left my Debrox open.. it was leaning over and I thought the top was on!  It was stuck in a crevice I noticed.  It made a loud noise, and my ear has a pimple, can itch, feels like stingy, and is plugged.  I may have to go to the doctor.  It feels like this ear, my left ear, is getting bigger.  I felt normal, before, though.  It just feels more plugged now.  I used the better earplugs when I took my bath.

So, I guess I'll just have a nap or no nap and sleep at school.  My mom said to use the gym, myself.  I mean, I can sleep on the bench and probably will wake up by myself.  I need a louder alarm, too.

I had a funny feeling about why my ear plugged up.  It feels like I can only hear through 1 ear!  Too bad about the pimple, but right away I change my ear plugs each day.

I have to cook my fish, pack the crackers and veggies, pack the money, hm no paper and pen..  Also, my dad didn't get me a recording device.  =[  I also don't have money for it.  I have my camera, but it won't stay on that long, I know.  D;  I mean, no, I'm not gonna listen to the class alone.  I was gonna use it if I needed it.  It's hard to think with my ear plugged, too.  My wounds are getting better but still sting.  I'm feeling more put together with something to look forward to and a nice teacher..  In the summer, not sure if she's teaching, probably, but I want to do tennis, and organ..

Facebook Posts

ellentv

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ME: Gotta have a plan.

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ME: I think I can see why you don't do kickboxing. Gotta figure out your options. You know, lower leg workouts work well. 0:]

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Matt Taylor I love guesstures

ME: You seem like a set up person.

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Jenn Relihan The best part of this photo is Ellen's face.

ME: So, you still don't have a favorite, new workout? I don't believe in yoga. I did it a long time ago.

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Problem

So, who would waste their time just hating on me for attention?  Someone who doesn't like to work-think, like who is spoiled and all about 1 thing that they're not supposed to do?  They must have quite a "culture shock."

Problem

I have this friend who is just being shy dying her hair darker.

Problem

I just realized I have this younger friend who keeps coming back with bs.

Problem

GO AWAY YOU NIGGER AND DON'T BLAME ME FOR NOT GETTING A BLOG.

Problem

Why do people like Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton give a fuck over kids with really old parents who are younger than you?  Ha.  WTF you think you got?

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What do you think of Ellen DeGeneres's new Facebook photo cover?

Wow, people my age keep spouting bullshit to put me down.  Why the Hell can't they leave me alone, now?  OMG, what niggers.  I have no clue what their point is, guess they're just not that mature.

Problem

See, my whole purpose in everything I do is to say I'm as white racially as I can be.

PROBLEM

So, my mom seemed to get mad at me for something that supposedly Ellen DeGeneres would agree with.  I figured the n word thing is why I don't trust her jokes.  See anyone happy around, lately?  No, there is no point.  Also, I already decided I don't want to be tacky in the 1950s.

I'm rather disturbed and overly taxed.  I thought of some violent things.  Not like realistic, which I have to not do..  I 1st got upset at Nell Burton because I also got a message from Ginny Kopf via my mom.  I'm disturbed she thinks she's so good just because she did the Disney voice since the mid-1980s.

I'm being flooded with insults, for some odd reason.  I'm tired of going through this person's BULLLSHIT.

I also got mad at Ellen DeGeneres for thinking she's something because it said that I wasn't good enough racially, which is BULLLSHIT.  She keeps thinking she's cooler, and she keeps thinking she's gooder.

Getting Ready

It seems it's time to get ready for school.

Being Right and Saving Things for Later

Nell Burton is considered right because her dad is from L.A.  I don't know why his family is from Burbank, but all the broadcasting is there.  I guess she's saving it for later.

Helping Someone

There was a thin, blonde, blue-eyed boy with a buzz on the side of the road who asked me for a smoke and then for 50¢ and I gave him $1 50¢.  He was on a bus to the port.

Facebook Post

Facebook

Problem

I'm mad at Ginny Kopf.  She didn't add me on my new Facebook.  I think I'm going to ask her in class to add me.  I dunno, maybe I'll I'm mad.  She thinks she's whiter than me.  What should I do?  Call everyone in the class a nigger?

The new thing of Facebook is you have to be someone's friend to see what they say - I mean all they say, it just shows random things from the past, now, not sure why.  They're just having fun controlling the world and really wish they did things differently before whereas before they forced us to think they were right.

The other problem is I like to change my profile photo..  }:]

TV Forum 3I

Forum

Backpack!

Ate

I had 2 packs of cheesy grits, a little bit of Great Grains cereal with milk that was left, and about 7 pieces of maple bacon stuck together not cooked quite enough.   Tropicana orange juice with some pulp.

Problem

No, I don't know anyone other than my little girl cousin, who is a conundrum, who is from certain areas of Florida with parents from up north.

Why am I drawing in my dad just to pleasure others, things that have nothing to do with me.  Why do people think I'm just fragile and immobile?  I know I was kinda like that at 1 point growing, but this is ridiculous.  I'd have gotten over this.  What, so I get no treat?

Problem

I just really don't want Ellen DeGeneres to hurt me thinking I'm a nigger for stupid stuff.  I care about my comfort a great deal.  I'm also being alluded that the attention I get is to bonk me out.

Problem

Anything Ellen DeGeneres lets a younger, white kid do, make sure you let yourself do.  If she tells you do to one of her many things to be more grown up, DON'T DO IT.  You deserve a funky life, too.

Problem

So, who decided to or did it just happen that I got the idea that the crowd sees Ellen DeGeneres as leaning back in her chair squirting like a warm, gelly waterfull upward to the side?  I have a feeling that that would pretend to upset her.  I mean, I've been had to feel things of that nature but luckily have avoided it and don't really know about other people doing that, deciding to like these things.  I haven't read about stuff like this but would like to.  I mean, why would it be safe to do this?  I know, you think that it's unfair.  Maybe, it's just like what happened.  I just feel things are at a standstill now and that like it's some thing that passed.

Going to Bed

I guess I'll go to bed, now.  Creepy night.  People hurting each other before they think.

Let me add, watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" every day and before talking to my grandma each night doing a Bible reading, I stayed up all day and didn't eat and just sang for YouTube.  I got off the phone, had just got my contacts, and suddenly my face wasn't as detailed.  What bothered me most was that something like that could happen to me.  I think that it's not safe in the world to enjoy things.  People just don't like that.  I don't know why we're programmed to turn off.  I am also mad that Ellen DeGeneres feels the need to get back at you thinking you did something wrong in your life just to be fair with everyone else, which I think is something that niggers do that is stupid, like me thinking that I was good to be happy about my contacts.  See, my face was like developing such acute, precise expression.  It was like something no one else did.  I mean, other people can do it if they want.  I don't really look up to niggers like that.

Problem

Why is my mom so wild?  She is like an animal like my dad.

I got the idea she told the 2 dance people at Valencia, "I didn't do it."

It's like she doesn't really want to talk to you.

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Facebook

Problem

So, what do you think about the turnout of things with Tim Burton?  Why am I cursing about racism?

My Day

I got 2 ranch wraps at McDonald's and 1 was fried, I know.  No ice cream, but I got some ice cream at a gas station.

Also, my left hand feels like it's about to rip from a cut I got that goes across a large portion.

Problem

You know, no one nice agrees with my dad turning on me.  I mean, I wasn't good to start off with.

Problem

Is that my next expensive message?  NIGGER.

Problem

Can you just shut up with your crap of combining extreme ideas?  You're stupid.  You're a piece of shit.  You're nothing.

Problem

Why does Ellen DeGeneres keep kidding about serious things?  I already told you I'm not gonna let you just be mean to me.  What do you think I am, a piece of shit?  You think I'm just shit?

Family Trip

My mom and brother just got home from a trip to India, taking a class. They look so solid and feel so good and said it was so cold. Their skin is a darker shade.

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Facebook

How I'm Feeling

My ear is feeling better but still has a pimple.  I'm not wearing my earplugs unless I jog along the street with cars.

Exercise

I did some core workouts.  I took a shower.

Something Cute

So, before, my dad got Italian leaves in a box, and now it's Baby Spring Mix.  =]

I also thought of naming my son Jim after "gym" for tennis or something about sports.

Ow

My left ear has a pimple that hurts, but I can still chew okay.

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Comment

Health

I found that I know that girls with fat dads have to do certain things to keep going.  My dad said he was solid muscle, but I guess when I was born he wasn't.  He came out of the marines, but so did a lot of dads.

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Problems

It feels like I need more water.  I'm a bit taxed.  I feel kinda like Christmas walking around seeing lights or jogging slowly, tired, wanting something.

Problems

So, I woke up with my left ear plug out.  I got rid of the wax clogging it.  The clear waterproof earplugs let water in.  It's harder to hear, like it's muffled.  I feel a pain, not sure if it's a pimple, more on the flesh but feels like hurt from water.  Sometimes, it sorta crackles and bubbles in a watery way.  My jaw feels funny when it opens, but I feel kinda like a singer as a fan of Les Misérables.

Dreams

I had good dreams, hard to remember, now.  I regret to inform you, I was trying to imagine someone hugging me and I felt tacky.  I had 2 or 3 dreams.  I was aware of them at the time but now forget.

Going to Bed

:(

How I'm Feeling

I've been getting upset and am bloated and took a shower but feel like sorta filled with gelly worms or something but not literally.

I think I justified getting upset ... forget ... ah yes I felt I was given the message a pain was multiplied a lot, and I want to avoid it but I can't help but formulating some reaction.  I just hope it gets better.

Ow

My left ear is hurting, need more water.

Ate

I had 5 pieces of maple bacon stuck together not microwaved long.
2 packs of cheesy grits.

Lunch:
2 French bread pizzas
Oscar Meyer Weiner my dad got, beef, probably bun length, with Heinz ketchup, on wheat
A more large zucchinni

I just had:
2 French bread pizzas

Now I'm making a small zucchinni.

I might have some asparagus's or cooked leaves.

Comment

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Something Weird

I just realized that it's all about kids with dads from L.A. and Florida.

Ages of Places

I just found that Fort Lauderdale is the oldest, like early 1800s, then Key West had a fort as well in the mid 1800s and became the most successful place, then Miami.  I guess the early English settlers of Jamestown are the next best place to go to.  I just found Miami was found late 1800s and Key West early 1800s.  I guess Key West is interesting.  So is Fort Lauderdale.  Miami is in the middle.

I'm not sure what's so interesting about like ... I dunno like who's in on what if it's about people in Europe and people I guess in certain parts of the U.S.  I wonder what a European does in Key West.  I guess if you were from another part of the U.S. before that you would have more heritage there.  Also, very old colonies are interesting.  I think it's interesting, the English.  I know the oldest continuously and 2nd overall oldest city in the U.S. is Spanish, so I guess the mixing pots of Key West and Fort Lauderdale are of more prestige.  See, there's this movie that used to be in the wax muesum when I went back to visit.  It showed a girl drowning in a boat who was Spanish.  It makes me think of the old Spanish play.  They even had a church.  So, it seemed like Egypt or something.  It was a big, dark ocean, and she got lost.  She was so pretty.  There was another movie.  Wait this is in the vistor's center.  The other 1 in the wax museum showed a boy chosing to go through the trees and finding skeletons.

I think Ellen DeGeneres's mom probably has ancesetry in New Orleans (I already forget, it was discovered in the 1600s ... 1690.)  It seems her mom's ancestry dates back to the 1800s.  I don't see what that has to do with people from other areas of the country.  I read her father isn't from the U.S.  In the interview, he didn't have an accent.  I know the English here sometimes don't use an accent, but they know the accent.  Well, I mean, it's interesting because we're interested in that, people from out-of-the-U.S.

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Problem

Stop trying to make my family similar.  Why should I respect you?

Problem

Let's just shovel Ellen DeGeneres out.  She's listening to my dad and said my mom was bs.  She thinks that being good in some way means you have fun and say you're crap.  She thinks it means something too that I put her name in my shit.  Well, I didn't want you to make me think my mom was a negro.  I don't want to play your game like this.  Ooh, does that tie in with some message that you think means something?

Ooh, I didn't know what to say.  Isn't that why I'm posting online?  Why are you attacking me?  You're just racist and don't deserve anything and will probably be hurt.  You'll find you made some mistake and get mad.

Problem

Just admit it, you're mean.  It's because you're racist and because of the n word thing.  You just want to prove you're something.  You think that everything has to be like some big thing that answers like every question.  Well, what question did it answer?  Some thing you did?

Problem

I don't care about you people not from the Southern U.S.A. culture spreading your culture around the world.  I don't mean that no I would never do anything like that nor that I've thought about that kind of thing.

Problem

LOOK I CAN'T STAND IT FIX IT

Problem

I think someone made my password not work.  Now, I have a list of 4 passwords for Twitter.  Why don't I just *beep* you?  You think my life isn't worth it and you can just make anything happen.

Cultural Appreciation

Does Ellen DeGeneres honestly believe people generally pack their things and head down to historical sites?  I guess they do in New Orleans, but I mean it seems more like it's from the early 1900s.

In the nation's oldest continuing city in Northeastern Florida, which is Spanish and very, very hot other than in the winter and maybe some of the fall, unsure, imagine like homeschooled girls.  I remember the theater, but like the kids weren't all like old-fashioned.  1 was friends with a girl from New Jersey, not big roles I saw in the historical thing.

I don't know why it seems so Hollywood creepy to you.  I guess that's like the thing waiting to happen.  Wish someone would like tell me what they want to know.

My Friends

So, my friends were mostly not from the South.  Pretty much, it seemed like all of them weren't.  I mean, yes, I've met people who came from New Orleans.

Relating From Your Parents?

So, you get the melting idea from your father?  What about the mother?  Hm, I know someone with a Spanish mom.  I guess it's about the dad.  Hm.  But I was with my mom.  I don't melt.

Where You're From

What do you think about people who were born in Florida or California, a long time ago?  Or New Orleans?  Or maybe Cleveland?  You know, any old place would be interesting to someone else.  I'm not sure how  interesting Pennsylvania and New York would be, but I never lived there..  The nice thing about Pennsylvania and New York is it's kinda physical and a place where you can move around.  I don't know about saying it isn't modern.  Maybe, it's just moral.

TV

I just watched some of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I saw a picture of a lady with a face that was melting.  I realized about living in the nation's oldest continuing city.  It is a haunting place.  Florida is, too.  My mom also is not from the U.S.  However, when you're there, it's just kinda like not much there.  It's like fixed up with like you just see like the old buildings of like benches in the schools, you know from maybe the 1600s or 1700s or maybe 1800s.  I think they had photos of old people alive who went there.  I did a camp.  I remember seeing like the old Spanish stuff, the things hanging up, the way they wash each cup.  It just seemed normal, kinda clean and tidy but maybe haunting to think of the racism.  I don't think they were pictured as tan tan like South America nor slick.  I don't know what they looked like.  I know rich people did some stuff there, but obviously it's not all over.  I know I toured it a lot, and people who visited think they have a grasp.  3 years.  I never thought of it as a ghost town.  I know some people there, but they don't talk to me, now.  The ghost tour might be cool, but in Key West it just seemed kinda normal.  I don't know, it was about people jumping from a hotel I remember and like mixed people in a grave.  There was a joke about it being bad for tourism, Diamond Dave.  He looked like the dad in My Fair Lady with a top hat.  I remember now seeing the thing about the house on the street with the doll that moved over.  Not sure when it was, but it seemed like around 1900, possibly.  I was with my little girl cousin alone, and she held my hand, though of course it didn't help enough.  That reminds me of New Orleans.  For some reason, I know a lot about that place.

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Facebook

Problem

Maybe because Lily Rose is black she is special.

Ellen DeGeneres literally believes her generation is certified and anything they do will be taken seriously to others, in some way.  She thinks literally that excursions are real symbols.

Problem

You've given me a very uncomfortable time.

Problem

Track my dad.  He was acting annoying thinking my daughter was a nigger because of "mistakes" I made by accident that may have been good.

Also, I get reactions on how things load from people I like that are annoying.

Problems

Why are you so picky in a racist way about people's temper and like their state of health and hygiene?

Food

So, for lunch, I have stuff like fish, thick red sausage if my dad got it, lettuce and cucumbers, tangerines, and I don't remember what else.  I guess I was depending on the fish.

My wounds are healing quickly.

Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton should learn to relax.  I'm gonna take a bath, soon.  I wanna make a new blog.  3)

Back

I returned the webcam and got $24 back.  I got an ice cream bar.

My dad was supposed to get me a lunch back but didn't.

Mobile

Having an Opinion

Did you ever consider that people can have an opinion?

New Facebook

Facebook

I'm getting a new cell phone # and getting a name for my new account and getting validated to post endlessly by not getting kicked out.

New Videos

Injuries & a last 1 from the therapist

YouTube

Problem

So, you think you have to have the faults of your mom?

Mall

I was at the mall yesterday and wore my green buttoned kinda square shirt with a new pair of jeans from school.  School starts Monday|Tuesday.

Shopping

I got like 9 bottles of nail polish for @ $7 and 1 $4 for $50, 1 @ JCPenney, the rest at Sears, a great place for nails, but they have lots of cheap nail polish..  There was this lady there who said go see the lady in the nails.  They both had an accent.  Then, she said to go check out in the clothes.  So, I have like $50 left, and I don't want to go to McDonald's anymore, but I mean I'll go there for fun.  I'm bringing my food to school, not sure what I'd buy there.  I mean, if I get hungry.  It shouldn't be that big a deal.  I mean, I can eat at home.  My breakfasts aren't really all that big, but it's not just flakes.  Flakes are good, used to like, er, those frosted wheaties.

I'm taller! =]

5'3" on the dot, when I woke up, solid as a rock, not that I wasn't about that height, before

New Videos of Me Singing From Before

YouTube

Dream

- There was a baby put in a tub because someone felt that it was feeling bad.  She looked like Nell Burton with sparkly blue eyes and thick, rich hair.  She had a protruding face.  She was dipped in water that was low, but then, the water raised, in a baby tub, probably in a low bathtub.  Eventually she drowned.  They might have lifted her.  After awhile she moved up herself.  It sounded like she was waving her arms saying "airplane."  I tried to coo her, too, in a kind of menacing, nice way.  Eventually, it seemed she would drown.

- Before, I was with "a theater teacher" "from the past."  This person said "I did the program."  She was staying at my house, like a foreign exchange student.  She was eating fried chicken, and that was all she felt like eating at that hour I could tell.  We got on a couch, and it showed something ... oh, before, there were fat people in our class on a stage, 1st 2, then 3, then a small 1 that kinda ran, with her.  I showed her about running forward with your arms in front of you.  Then, I was on the couch with her behind me.  I had seen her skin like dinosaur scales.  Something came on, puppets, the puppets got scales, and I kept feeling like a bubbly punching at my crotch from her feet kicking.  This lasted a long time, and I woke up feeling kinda pleasant, in a way, as far as being stimulated.

- Before the baby, I saw a cute boy who had kinda a thick watery face but looked English otherwise with light brown hair in a bowl cut kinda combed back and probably to the side or the other way around.  He was taller than me but considerably small.  He was with his dad and 2 siblings.  This dad kinda looked Jewish Polish, short.  His sister looked Japanese but kinda European, since he was.  I don't know, guess the other sibling might have been an older brother or sister.  They were all ½ Japanese.  The girl looked at me and was like gaping I was Chinese, and then I had to tell her I had Indonesian and Dutch culture for 500 years.  We were walking down, like a gray tall long hall.  It reminds me of this thing they have here called Ice at this huge place that's like a hotel and has like even things displayed, like at hotels at Disney.  The ceiling is very high, and it has so many huge pathways.  The reason I like living in Orlando now is because I guess I'll see if I can afford a Disney pass and ask my parents to help me buy stuff, maybe next month, and so I can, well, before, I thought I'd hang out on the outside, ride the trains, walk through the hotels, eat at Downtown Disney and look at the Christmas shop and stuff, walk around outside the parks maybe.  I'm not sure what I'd do in Disney every weekend.  I'm just wondering what going on Splash Mountain a lot would be like.  They sure have a good ride of Space Mountain.  I do like walking through the historical stuff, like the MGM stuff.

- Before, I know Ellen DeGeneres was in it.  It was something more serious and sorta media-ish.

Also, I had a good look at the cute boy.  I liked him.

Problem

Lynx isn't answering, I want a deal.  It's not that expensive, I found..

Schedule

I signed up for a weight training class in the mornings, the other 3 classes in the evening. It's a circuit cardio class.

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Another Thing

I changed my SQ. Had to make a new account, but it remembered me.

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Got In

I passed the math test. I can take the math class.

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Thin!

I didn't miss anything on the test but probably got a bit less than 3/4.

I have on diapers and my hips are skinny.

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Parents's Ages

Why am I feeling tacky for having a dad that's not extremely young compared to his daughter's age?

Ramblings

So, I feel kinda like sorta fizzy and wound, think I shouldn't walk around town, it smelled yesterday.

So, "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" was neat.  She is looking a bit more put together.  Don't you think she has a good body, now?  I do like that she's mature, I mean.  So, it seems she ate a lot and walked around.  I wonder what else she does.

I'm looking for a good quality core workout.  The workout that comes with my Jillian Michaels DVD seems most effective, but I tried too much at once.

Problems

So, like, if the schedules were perfect or we lived a long time ago we could learn things like ballet and gymnastics and singing at a young age and even learn music and art.

Tired

Maybe, I need to lie down.

So, upset I got so mad?  Why are people all acting funnily around me!  Anyone have an intelligent answer or response?

Chores

I need to clean my room.

I just finished a shower and dried my hair.  I'm gonna find some good core workout..

IMDb

I'm on IMDb, now.

Problem

Stop these messages from Ellen DeGeneres that she's hurting me and people I care about because of the n word.  Someone just told me they didn't like her show, and there's nothing wrong with it.  She was really mean.  Come on, do something to her.

Problem

Why is Ellen DeGeneres so sensitive online?  I'm feeling insulted posting to her online, weird that other people find these submissions so interesting, like they're a photo and she waits and reads the responses if maybe there aren't like them coming every few seconds.  She has so many venues online.  I strive to make a successful forum where people I know will start posting to me..

Problem

I just got mad and this Dutch American poster Chuppah is back.

I got another message that the n word things means something.  Just *beep* Ellen DeGeneres.

Stop telling me I'm my dad.

Problem

STOP - I'M TIRED OF SITTING HERE JUST TELLING THE WORLD ALL THE SHIT YOU DO - DID YOU JUST SAY IMDB WAS A MOLE?

Hey, stop, who's gonna know about this?  You're affecting people I know.  Hey, listen, I didn't do anything wrong.  You've been hurting me.  I don't trust you, whatever that means.

Problem

I'm tired.  Now, I lost my Twitter posts.

Problem

Someone *beep* Ellen DeGeneres.  She's blocking me on Facebook and Twitter.  She gets a stream of comments.  I didn't do anything wrong.  She's just a guilty person.  She's teamed up with my dad to annoy me when I stay backed away from him.

Problem

I hurt myself yesterday and had pimples and bugbites, the pimples which hurt in my ears and my jaws.

Problem

I think my day was ruined.  I was gonna do some core workouts and check my posts on Ellen DeGeneres, but she's making a scene and deleted my posts, maybe just because she's racist and that's kinda a detriment.  I have wounds on my hand, and the bandaids I haven't been using.  I just went for a jog and got some fast food.

Suggestions?

So, anyone have any ideas if I don't acting classes where I can go?  Just keep going to the mall?  I still like Ellen DeGeneres, but I worry about her.

Problem

So, why am I so aggressive and unable to think?  QUIT TELLING ME I'M MADE OF BAD GENES, STUPID.

Hair Traits

What, so blonde hair makes you a pervert or more sensitive?

STOP

I CUT MYSELF

I PUNCHED MY DESK AGAIN

YOU'RE HURTING ME

Problem

*BEEP* my dad won't leave me alone and people won't stop alluding to him.  You think you're so cool thinking about all the problems and "addressing" them in action.

I only have the music station on my TV and I'm getting all these messages.  IT'S HAPPENED SINCE THE N WORD THING.  I JUST PUNCHED MY DESK AGAIN.  YOU'RE NOT LISTENING.  PEOPLE ARE TREATING ME BADLY BUT MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SAYING NIGGER.  THAT IS SO *BEEP*  STOP NOT TALKING TO ME LIKE A EUROPEAN.

Hey

The computer screen doesn't seem to be shaking as much, but my webcam chord is.  WTF IS THIS.  Flimsy screen.

Problem

What is your problem?  Why are you so closed up?  I don't have to be closed up.

Problem

I'm tired of sitting here thinking about Ellen DeGeneres's silly posts because ... I forget because I'm poor.

Hey, my screen started to shake.

She doesn't seem to have anything to do but annoy people.  I was having fun on Facebook.

Problem

I find Ellen DeGeneres suggestive.  She doesn't find other people to block.  Well, I see negative comments to people in other cases and they don't get kicked out.  Some girl thought I was spamming, but I was just posting intelligently and not cursing at anyone.

Problem

You guys need to shut up.

Problem

I cut my fingers, again.  I have nothing to abuse.

Facebook Posts

ME: What a crappy pic, no offense.

ME: I don't see why you all find, sorry to use this term, retarded picture interesting.

Like
Amy Zaloga Carpenter Well then Christina Barrett, don't use it then! Plus, if you don't like it, nobody forces you to look at it.
http://www.facebook.com/amykcarp

Like
ME: So, why doesn't Ellen DeGeneres just freakin' tell us who the *beep* she's interested in and stop fudging it, changing it, make a point for once in her life.

Like
Wayne Beazley if you dont like the photo Christina Barrette then fu*k off. #SIMPLE

Like
ME: I just want to see who likes her posts online so I can beat them around the bush for being racist to other people.

Like
Katina Vick-Zarger spammers suck... <3 Ellen
http://www.facebook.com/earthangelkz420

Like
Lindee Murray Griffin Christina Barrett- Please don't use that word!!! It is very offensive to many people! There are plenty of other words you can use instead of it!!!
http://www.facebook.com/lindee.griffin

Like
ME: So, why did I get the idea that my dad made Ellen DeGeneres participate in mangling my future son? Why would she use me as scapegoat? Why not just hurt the wrong person or like adjust to the situation?

Like
Lauren Penfold christina-i dont understand what point youre trying to make in your "who shes interested in" post. Or whos being rasicst? But maybe I didnt far enough back? You just seem to make no sense
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=12125625

Like
Lea Anne Meers Christina, same reason you look like a FOOL in that hate!!! Just sayin!!!
http://www.facebook.com/leaanne.meers

Like
Debbie Jeffers There's a rainbow right over the sign that says Rainbow Ave, Christina Barrett.
http://www.facebook.com/debjeffers

ME: "Let me make my point my point and my point clear..." My body has been mangled! I'm a dummy! *D;

Like
ME: I mean that I keep having to suffer because of other people and that people always make me mad with racism. What, I didn't hurt anyone. I was just making a point about something true! Did you know??? Um, that sign is ambiguous. That's, in a way, the whole problem or a big 1, dunno...

Like
Wayne Beazley Christina Barrett ellen has 12,348 likes and u only got 1 like you are very pathetic and u must'nt have anythng better to do but be real anoying now do everyone a favor and log off
http://www.facebook.com/ash.duzdat

Good idea.

Problem

I can't comment on Ellen DeGeneres's page.  WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?  HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING.  QUIT IT.  I'M CALLING THE POLICE IF YOU ARE TAKING ORDERS FROM MY DAD.  YOU THINK I'M A NIGGER?

I'M GONNA *BEEP* SOMEONE.  QUIT IT, YOU DUMMIES.

Also, my TV isn't working, only a music station comes up.  Can you quit talking to my dad?  I'm gonna *beep* you if you do.

Back

Going to Exercise

Catnip

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Bye

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Ate

Breakfast
5 pieces of maple bacon not cooked much, put together
2 packs of cheesy grits

lunch
sandwich with honey cold cut ham, garlic and herb with lemon dressing, and long lettuce
cold water

I took my vitamins each time, not sure when I took my heart pill 2nd time nor if I did.

From eating at McDonald's and the new tennis sneakers, I feel kinda strong?  I'm running outta money.  I think I spent ...

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Scheduled

I'll be there tomorrow morning.  ':D

Scheduling a Trip

So, I'm scheduling to go to Valencia today or tomorrow.  It'll probably be tomorrow morning, like my mom said.

Applying

I just called and have to go visit and take placement tests because my tests have expired and I failed Math and they said I failed Comp. (II..)  I had to withdraw that semester but was too late.

Also, for the 1st time I just felt like an emission of hotness and found it was a somewhat substantial "squirt," not sure how long it's been, but I've been dry, started drinking more, and am eating out fast food regularly and more choice food.  I had to put on a d*****.  So, it's been a light 2 weeks.  I hardly notice it itself.  So, the girl I talked to could tell.  I'm a bit embarrassed people seem to know how I work.  I've even woken up with concrete ideas.

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I commented on my post about the acting class: Facebook.

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Problem

I have a problem.  People in Orlando are upset at the way they wasted their time here.  They think it's all about how long you lived here.

Worried

I don't think it's right to hurt black people and not right to criticize people that it happened.

I don't believe in this fantasy of white people, like Germans in Florida.  Just fuck them to d****.  Hm, I don't know exactly what I mean.

Signs of Racism

Annoying White People

So, what you're teaching black people to cut their nails at us?  GO TO HELL *BEEP*

So, in an underhanded way, they're like happily snidely yet like evilly which is the same thing in a way as snidely.. like sorta creepily, sneakily flinging around thoughts of hatred to people with non-white blood, however I believe these people also have non-white blood.  It might be about being from Orlando.  However, they are connecting it to all of Florida.  Also, it's the black people and like the hidden motives of the white people.

Something Odd

I wonder why Florida has become so stupid ... assuming the school did this, themselves ... Orlando is stupid.  They think they're flauncy.  They literally hurt you and look at you evilly like it's ***y.  I think they don't realize there will be a reason to regret doing this, all the time.  Word has gotten around that people do this sometimes, by mistake.

I don't know if I'd go to that class, but I'd probably sign up and see if I make it.  I want to wait and take it at the college, maybe, but I assumed the students were mostly pretty young.

So, why should we have a silly rule so we can't sign up for classes?  You have to answer.  I know it was so that people will miss signing up.  I was gonna sign up before the holidays, forgot to check again before.  I just don't have a perfect life, though I'm always at home or taking a walk or something and buying the healthier fast food.  So, why do they want us to miss signing up?  I guess I have to see if I still have to take these requirements.  I didn't need them, before.  I couldn't even sign up for prep math.  I don't even know what the requirements say.  It's a chart.  I still feel pressured by the school to take a class.

I left McDonald's today, and for some reason this black girl was mean to me, as it closed.  She seemed giddy on the inside like she was in on something but perhaps upset she was working.

Also, I noticed that people here are retarded and think I'm retarded and not the schools.  Hm, so, I did activities.  Um, yea.  It's the school's responsibility to prepare us for college, something they always rubbed in.  I guess they were kinda underhanded in the New Orleans area, as well.  I didn't get in Gifted and I found it a goof-off class, in some ways.  Me not being in Talented Theater my 1st year ruined everything, and me not doing Talented Music my 1st year the teacher left and I found I didn't have a foundation.  Art was good, but I found I couldn't paint.

Why has Orlando become so stupid?  Ever since I came home from college, it's been this way.  I mean, I came here for a little while before college and in between.  I don't remember much.  Hm, now I do.  Oh, well.

I think people here do care if the school did it like because of my dad or something.  It's not a joke.  My grades are my business and not my fault.  The environment is not conducive.  I know the people in the schools are racist.  They think it's their responsibility.  I don't see how postponing signing up for classes helps.  I know it was a big thing.

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Tendering Myself

So, I got a mushroom burger order at Mickey D's the past 2 times.  I got a McFlurry this time.  I mentioned the smoothie was too watery here.  So, with these tennis shoes I was suddenly able to run.  I got them at Wal-Mart.  Before, I had Wal-Mart shoes and have had running shoes, even expensive 1s from Sports Authority.  I have been using flat 1s, lately.  I apparently got such a great workout.  I was gonna do my core workouts, maybe later.  I feel infested.  I want to do some lying down.

Shopping

I also got long sleeved Angry Birds girl pj shirt, fuzzy girl Angry Bird and love pants, Angry Birds angry black bird hat with muff covering, blue rain boots that are really tall, lots of other things, a towel, mat for bathroom, mat for bathtub, white|cream knit gloves and felt scarf, black hat with muffs, slim laundry basket for bathroom, cheap basket for laundry, probably more important stuff, Ocean like Iris Spring set of 3 possibly blue bath soap, my 2nd Fructis gel the 1st being curly, a ionic cancer pink hairdryer that worked wonders, some blue-tinted hair bands with other colors but no gray though I found I have gray when I exercised before, the towel is black with a flower pattern I think sewn on shiny my 1st special bath towel, tall fuzzy boot slippers for the house like plush fluffy wearing them now making me warm and squeaks when I walk, though but doesn't flip flop like my mesh plastic Asian pink shoes my mom got me maybe 2 years ago...

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A Problem

If Ellen DeGeneres is judging fans online and she rejects me because of the n word thing and her pangs over Johnny Depp, I'm gonna start hating on her.  She already is on this, and it's retarded.  I said earlier, suggested, she was like my brother at his good state, but I said I was smart.

Qualified Expert on Major Areas of Florida

I may have issues, but I think that I can say that I feel and think I'm pretty absolutely qualified to say Orlando is a piece of shit.  They take suggestions and are gay about behavior.  I feel like my son has been mixed up, his body mangled.  I don't care about your stupid o******.  I just don't know if it was planned.  It was a fat, black lady.

There, can you even answer that...?

So, you think my dad planned it?  Um, but we don't know, for sure.  He's supposed to answer to it, or else more shit like this might happen, later.

Let's think that it's because of Ellen DeGeneres because I'm in Orlando, really, and she thinks it's creative.  What do you think?  I think it's more of her b.s. crap on the n word thing.  She was really mean I could tell.  I totally don't agree with you, you worthless bitch.  (I'm speaking as though she really did this.  If she didn't, fine.  If it's a stupid mistake, well, that's what I'm here for.  '}:[  Oh, and if it makes you feel better, I recorded my therapy visit and told my dad Johnny Depp was worthless ... that is worthless to you racist bums who all acted like I was a nigger since, suggested the world like an o*****.  Why should I give a shit about you?  I could t*** you apart.  I had fantasies of s****** the black lady and feel I would do it.)

What I Found There

Teachers don't care @ lectures.

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Buses

Words in lights

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See you all, a little later!..

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Enjoying Your OOWN Entertainmen.t

Did you ever wonder why movie stars think you can't enjoy yourself entertaining when you're not already a movie star?  So, you might become one and embarrass yourself, they want?

Workout

I just did the warmup and it blew me away, quite a workout, o bravo!  Reminds me of step, quite a workout.  Like, we lifted our legs.  I guess, I'll do more soon unless I become disinterested.  I guess I shouldn't go for a walk but want to go to the mall.  I would jog, maybe the gym would be beneficial, with new lock.

Working Out

Cardio

Later, getting this video not just a rental: Core.

Being Young

So, I can act obviously like still a little girl and other people are but you don't see the cute, human features.  Like, the way you move your hands when you talk.

Shopping

At CVS, I decided to get the webcam which doesn't work and so will return it when I go back to McDonald's or somewhere else, a lock that has 4 directions for $10 all @ the same anyway, the straightener for $10 (funny there was 1 with light pink and 1 with darker pink) though I have 1 that works for me that dries I found, cheese and crackers, SpongeBob SquarePants sanitizer with a rubber connecting thing, and at the mall needed to get 2 hand cleaning things with like $1 or less glow holders, Wonderland body wash (already got acne grapefruit body wash with matching facial cleanser,) and a scarf and mittens though it's not cold now, just was a few days.

ALERT

I will not become serious like an Early Boomer and let tweens|teens today be sassy.

Old Post - Problem

Why are you playing with how every page loads?  Stop acting like I don't have the right to use the internet.  To post on my blog and other social networking sites.

Also, why won't my dad stop giving me weird secret messages?  He's made my life uncomfortable.  He hasn't made me bad, though.  WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?  ARE YOU STUPID?  STOP HURTING PEOPLE.  NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU.  I'll put you in a cold, cold room and feed you SHIT.

8

Hm M what was it?

I know I had spinach pizza.
Some beef and zucchini.

First I had a salad with lettuce, cauliflower, herb & garlic with lemon juice dressing, and Texas croutons.

Semi-cold water.

I asked for broccoli and radishes, I think, and have baby carrots and cool Spinach and French dip from my dad.  I had Dill before.

Help!

I was thinking of how annoyingly racist and stuck up Nell Burton is and felt that I might be my dad and thought of c**ting people's faces.  I keep thinking of that but got over it again.  Why is this happening like this?  Maybe, I'll go ahead and c** your face for you.  EMO BURTON FAN

Upset

I got really mad.  The refrigerator drawers are both broken now.

I thought Ellen DeGeneres, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton thought they had more heritage from the South than me.

So, they want to just state that as a fact and like try to embarrass me if they run into me.  Hm, I know about people with parents from other places, but I don't like my parents in that way.

Dreams

2 or 3, 2 bigger, substantial good dreams - had, I think, Ginny Kopf and Ellen DeGeneres.

How-To

So, how do you do it, do you like straighten your hair and then put the gel in and brush it out, wonder how that will look.  I have a better straightener, not sure if it was a present, don't think so, maybe got it with my allowance 2 years ago.  It dries and straightens at the same time, but I don't remember it working well.

Figuring It Out

Oh, so, you're happy I'm not that happy, anymore.

I guess I need to get some hair gel.  I have curl scrunching gel and a little other gel left, can ask my dad for more, if I don't feel like going anywhere.

[Look at All the] Jealous People

They get mad when they see you do something they like and they don't feel like doing it, yet.

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2 more coming up of me mad in 2 hours, filmed before this 1

Health

Looking at my new pictures on Twitter, do you think I really need to work out?  Some people think it isn't necessary.  I used to highly believe in basing your life on working out and eating healthily, like a big breakfast.

Problem

Ginny Kopf didn't write me back about her class.

Problem

*Beep* the black lady who works at CVS.  Call the police.  I feel like I've been emptied.

Problem

Stop making me feel aggressive.

I don't give a bullshit about your statements about what people can do you niggers.

How I Feel

Not too tired but kinda lazy.

Problems

I feel dirty and disgusting.  I just successfully cleaned up in the bathroom.  I guess I was in the water and got tired, too, though.

Anyway, like, why do I have to learn like this?  I just figured maybe not go to CVS.  McDonald's was okay, at 1st, more like I wasn't ready.  I didn't feel like using the bathroom after.

Oh no, I forgot to clean my toilet seat when I took a shower-bath.

I used to walk to Wal-Mart.

I avoided the gas station.  What about the fast food restaurants?  I mean, sometimes I want supplies and just buy it.  I'll have to ask for money and will get maybe $40 a week.  Some of that is spent eating at the mall.

People in Orlando are so incessant to me.  What's going on?  Why not also treat me like I'm white?  What's so painful?  I thought I liked being white!

I know my finger will heal, but I don't really want to learn another lesson, even if I need to, because it's really annoying.  There is blood under a big flap of skin.  Well, I mean, what did I learn?  Why do I have nothing to throw around nor hit?  What else?  To not walk around now?  Go for short jogs?  I like what I bought.  I didn't like buying it.  I can ask my dad for fast food at lunch, though, and eat out with him.  He wouldn't bring me restaurant food, just didn't feel like it or didn't want to wait, maybe.

Shutting Down

Turning Off Computer

So, why does my internet keep shutting down?

Problem

Why are people like Johnny Depp and Ellen DeGeneres so literal and like don't see into the situation?  I mean, I'm in a tight situation, feel like I'm always in a classroom.

I realized my problem.

People are okay with me until they know I'm not white or see I'm shitty in a way that shows I'm not white for certain reasons not before.  Or just because I'm a little fat and maybe they find out about my race somehow, though I don't think they did in certain cases though I mean probably did.

Problem

I can't do anything with people thinking I'm my dad and that makes me "older."  They think he gave me like the reason to look shitty and my mom the reason not to look white.  How is my dad shitty?  Because he's from Pennsylvania and New York?